I told myself a million times that I wasnt going to come up here - TopicsExpress



          

I told myself a million times that I wasnt going to come up here and start getting all depressed and sad because of the winter grey and freezing cold... Im hoping its just because Im exhausted and... Feeling kind of lost and alone and sad and scared and overwhelmed in this disorganized half-empty (yet fully stocked with groceries thanks to the kindness of some lovely ladies :)) house in the middle of the city... Ive been forcing myself not to cry, not to think past whats right in front of me that needs to be taken care of (its a long long list - always) ... But, darnnit I couldnt fall asleep when my boys did... My brain is in overdrive... Im posting on FB right now to try to get away from where this night quickly somehow devolved to: Ive been sobbing into Xans sleeping little body for the past, heck I dont know how long..,, Ive been begging him not to die... Willing him to stay... Just couldnt/cant hold back tears right now. Im fine... Ill be fine... I got on FB to help myself focus on something else and kind of get a grip and Im slowly doing that ;) Just having a rough night... NOT going over the edge ;) ..,, my faith is still rock solid and THIS ISNT OVER BY A LONG SHOT! #keepthefaith #alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn #onefootinfrontoftheother #xansfans #teammoses #fightthegoodfight
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 03:51:42 +0000

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