I would like to share something, inspired by my friends and acquaintances that have spoken to me about my tendency to be reserved. I am grateful to those who are interested in understanding my character enough to read through to the end, though it is long. There are several reasons why I choose to reside silently in the background as opposed to out in the spotlight, or seeking attention from others, I think its important that people understand why I am this way, to avoid confusion. I am not shy, for one, I worry about saying the wrong things because my mind is overbearingly critical of everything and everyone around me, I think things that I probably should not say, I wonder if it would be appropriate to say them, and I usually do not speak what is on my mind 95% of the time for fear of upsetting or angering those around me. I am not judgmental, just critical, I have spent a lot of time isolated by myself in silence, just about every night for at least 5-6 hours since I was 14. I have had a lot of time to think, and to plan. I have reached many conclusions, that have lead to my inability to speak openly, and instead speak stuttered with few words. These conclusions that dictate whether I speak or not are as follows: Everyone does everything for themselves. Bar-none. If you do something for someone else, it is simply because it is beneficial for you either emotionally, or physically. Therefor when I hear bragging, what I really hear is Im insecure, please validate me through my accomplishments. When I see people acting out, or dramatizing situations, I see a desperate call for attention, I see inside their minds, imagining themselves inside their own little televised show where they are the star, and the world is paying attention to them, I know this is in the back of their minds when this happens, and so it leads me to think that they are far too obsessed with themselves to understand the value of caring for others in the deep extent that I am capable of, and it leads me to dismiss or ignore them. Why am I capable of caring for others deeply if everyone does everything for themselves? Ill tell you. The world is suffering, in case you havent noticed, its suffering both mentally and physically. This obsession weve created with ourselves being the star, our own desire to inflate our ego and be respected has left us broken as productive individuals. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the big picture. What is the big picture then? The big picture is what will give us the most out of our very short time here in this universe, to shallow thinkers, the most we can get is love from another, to moderate thinkers, the most we can gain is comfort, and to extensive thinkers, the most we can gain is peace. What is peace then? Peace is not ending wars, or conflict, there will always be conflict, there may not always be war, but one thing is certain of what peace is, it is the prospect of both love and comfort, but peace extends both concepts to everyone who seeks it, right now, many do not have that luxury. So why are those others important, especially if everyone does everything for themselves? Everyone here on Earth is extremely important, but they are important in a way that many of them do not understand, they are important because they all hold potential for something. Everyone does, bar those who have lost their minds due to illness, but they are rare and irrelevant to what I am saying. 200 years ago we invented the telegraph, and connected a nation together via brief messages of information. 100 years ago, we invented the telephone, we created the ability to share a vast amount of instant information from person to person, over an extended period of time. A little over 20 years ago, the world was connected with public internet access, freedom of information began, suddenly, information was free, you no longer had to spend time searching in libraries for a book that may or may not be outdated in its publications. Since the internet was invented, we have made incredible strides in the fields of science, and it is 90% attributable to the free information available online, to anyone who seeks it. We have invented brain-controlled prosthetics, were on the cusp of a vaccine for HIV, we have robotic surgeons, robotic farms, automated appliances, and artificial organs. We have put a rover on Mars as well as a flying asteroid, weve made progress in the fields of plasma research and quantum propulsion, the achievements weve made are Earth-shattering compared to the achievements of the past, all within a period of 20-25 years, and what is even more shocking, is that only a very, very small percentage of the population even cares about discovering new things, inventing new ideas, and making it easier for everyone to live a more carefree and enjoyable life. What we need, and what is coming, are the following (Ive done my research, those of you who know me, know I do not post false information): Bio-engineered, and plentiful everything. From trees, to houses, to translucent and flexible material resembling glass but having the functionality of a computer, feeding exclusively off of the energy of the sun, without need for panels. A self-building/sustaining material for construction. Automated farms and distribution of food. Automated chemical production centers, and automated medicine production. Quantum-synthesis (A process which involves turning a rock, for instance, into anything else on the periodic table). Artificial and functional organs of all types. A cure for every disease imaginable, the only questionable field is in the field of mental health. A potential to live beyond 1,000, 5,000, or even 5,000,000 years, with all of those whom you love. The question of these is not if, if is proven to no longer be a question in these cases, when is the only thing we need to concern ourselves with. Knowing this, its hard for me to understand why everyone is not interested in pursuing, or at least understanding how these technologies work, and improving them as they are into what they could be, when these technologies are completed, the world will have peace, there will be no competition beyond sporting events, there will be no suffering, as everyone will have access to what they need because it will be plentiful, what I envision, is a Heaven on Earth, and a potential Heaven extending far into the universe, and I understand how these technologies work, I understand the systems required to build them, and if I dont fully understand it, I know what we need to build to find out the next step. But what I lack, is the money to do it, and because of that, the focus falls on everyone else to encourage others to think and grow, to learn and understand, with everyone thinking about the final act before space exploration, the missing piece of humanitys puzzle. We can solve it with the internet and the collaboration of those with the tools to research. EVERYONE has the same brain, it doesnt matter if you think that youre too dumb to understand or not interested enough YOU have the potential, think back to when you were a child, you did not care what shapes were, nor were you interested in learning them, but you did because they were thrust in front of you enough times, the same thing applies with math, and anything else you choose to take the time to repeat until you understand it. The realization comes when you understand that you are fully capable of achieving this peace for everyone, that you are part of a team whether you like it or not, because you hold the potential, and with that comes a responsibility to yourself to cherish the life you are given, and through that cherishing, you can extend peace to everyone on this Earth who has the slightest whim of wanting it. So will you continue to waste your potential, or will you speak, and with what you speak, will you learn? With your actions, with what you do, will you learn? With your personality, will you encourage others to do the same? From what I have found, I have been disheartened that very few have come to these realizations, because they have not taken the time to ask, therefor, I am silent when it comes to saying what I want to, and I will continue to be until someone has a question. I am shallow for the sake of my work, because I would lose my jobs if I were allowed to speak my mind. I have only a couple of close friends that I can speak unrestricted with, where my flow of thought is not interrupted by stutters and short but shallow banter. I dont hate anyone, but I hate what weve allowed ourselves to become, compared to what we could be. So now, hopefully you understand, I am not shy, I am just silenced.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 14:57:32 +0000
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