If I die here and now no one would remember anything about me except one person. No one would remember my birthday except one person. No one would remember the date of my death except one person. If I died here and now Ill have achieved nothing. I dont have a life. The one I need to be with I will never see until 2016. It tears me apart on the inside. Why havent I lived? Because Im slowly beginning to realize how pathetic I really am. Go see her on Vacation? If I could I would. I cant keep her safe...No matter what happens. Whats my point in typing this? To admit the truth. Im waking the lying dogs. Im holding her back...It feels as if theres a loaded gun pointed to my head. And no matter what answer, reply, or statement I give, I wound up being shot. If I leave would you care? Are you caring because of guilt? Sadness? Selfish reasons? I want to play music and dance where angles sing. I need to travel to a place where I can hold my love in my arms and protect her. No one can change the fact that I will never achieve these things. I say this. But I cant do that. No matter who I trust. Or how hard I bed. It doesnt work. The friends I want to see...I will probably never see them again. I dont try my best because I know Im destined for failure. Ive been told so for years. Maybe I should just find a place to die slowly and rot away. Leaving a nothing but ashes.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 03:51:08 +0000
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