If you are concerned someone is suicidal… - Ask them. Ask them in the most open way possible, without judgment or a negative tone. Show them you are concerned. E.g “I have noticed you are feeling pretty down lately, are you thinking about suicide?”, or “I’m really worried about you, I’m concerned that you are thinking about suicide?”. Often a suicidal person may begin to feel a massive weight lifted off their shoulders if they can say they are thinking about suicide. Please try your best not to use “should” statements and do not make them feel guilty about what it would do to their family and friends, most likely the person is suffering a great deal of guilt already and they don’t need more guilt. Focus only on the person at risk and what they are feeling. - Express to the person at risk how much you care about them, this is not to make them feel guilty, this is to simply say “please know that I love you, I care about you, and I want to help you”. Let them know how you feel about them to help them not feel so worthless. - Listen to them. Let them speak. When you ask a person if they are feeling suicidal, they may deny it, but you can still talk to them further about how they are feeling. You may find that through more talking and opening up the person may start to mention the suicidal feelings. Ask them how long they have been feeling this way, whether they have felt this way before and if there is anything in particular that’s bothering them. Let them express what’s going on. - Show them gratitude for having the courage to speak about their emotions. E.g. “It’s brave of you to be telling me all this, and I’m so glad we are talking”, “I’m so proud of you for talking to me about this because I can’t imagine how difficult this must be more you, but I’m glad we are talking because I want to help”. - Ask the person at risk if they have a suicide plan. This can be hard to listen to and hard for the person to talk about, but it’s really important to ask this question. Ask them if they will allow you to remove any dangerous object or substance. The person at risk will probably feel a lot better after they are able to tell someone about this, although they may feel extremely embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and upset. Try your best to comfort them, offer some human contact, a hug, hold a hand, or sit close to them. Having you in the same room will make a world of difference. Let the person feel that they are not alone. - Make them feel important and worthy, tell them you want to put the whole day aside and be there with them. They probably don’t feel like they want to do anything, but you can try cooking a nice smelling meal, and putting on some music or a movie you know they like. If possible or appropriate, encourage them to sit outside in the fresh air for a bit and keep a close eye on them or sit with them. Having your presence in the house will make such a difference. The person at risk may need to cry or rest for a while, and if so, just be there for them. - If there is someone you can call to help support the person at risk, whether it be a family member, partner, friend, current mental health doctor etc., have a chat to the person at risk about this too. Offer to take your friend to the doctor, or emergency, and call Lifeline for further support to help you through it. Give the person at risk some options, perhaps print off some information and phone numbers, talk to them about the possibility of therapy. If they are resistant, don’t push it, but try again at another time. By doing the above you are showing them actively how much you care. You are showing them they are not alone. You are showing them that there are options. By Shelley (ADAVIC Volunteer)
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 02:00:00 +0000
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