Im in for a penny. .Im in for a pound! Showing the height of mess..happy grateful mess...bills..paperwork. .Grateful they can be paid...Artwork and such to be hung..so getting nails and hangers are a happy task..embracing travels or past thats been transcended and removed from self.. Too often ego concerned with pics..or video that portrays everything in its place... Authenticism. .A comfortable in your skin place that decades numbed or behaved in a manner misaligned in the alignment of Love..Lifes Source. Doesnt mean that I dont want to video another where the results of my responses to this miraculous state of mayhem..Miraculous in having responsibilities that dont allow me to feel like I belong or wish to be other than than what God has appointed ..ITS ABOUT BEING DEPENDENT UPON MYSELF AND NOT FEELING THE LIKELY REACTION OF SABOTAGE...From.. headaches...to procrastinatiom...or to the point where it becomes a crisis .bug..small. .ITS ABOUT dont play myself anymore.. So not to belong...but to BE...CONNECTED ..ITS ABOUT THE SENT OF I MATTER..I CONTRIBUTE..I CAN BE COUNTED ON..AND ALWAYS GUILT RIDE ABOUT NOT BEING SOMEONE WHO CARE ENOUGH TO ...OR LACK ED WHAT OTHERS NATURALLY HAD... ALL THAT WAS..IS CONSISTENTLY REQUIRED..ITS BEING ABLE TO TRUSTING MYSELF AND START ING WITH MY OWN CIRCLE OF LIFE..SEQUESTERED FOR THIS PURPOSE I SEE NOW...TO DAY AFTER DAY..BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR MINUTIA TO MOST..NOW THAT MUSCLE UNKNOWN..FLEXED TO READY TO GROW GREATER IN SPREADING THE TRUSTING IN MYSELF THAT WAS NOT JUST ABSENT..IT WASNT EVER CONSIDERED..KNOWN..NOR THOUGHT I WAS ONE OF THE ...YOU KNOW..OTHERS WHO HAD LINEAR PATHS..MINDSETS... AKIN TO SLINKY..NONE LIVES..ONLY RELATED BY MY NAME. .THE CHOICES WERE OF SMALL SURVIVAL BASED DAY TO DAY...PEOPLE ACTUALLY PLANNED..FOR COLLEGE..MARRIAGE..I FORMED THROUGH MY YEARS..A MINDSET OF BE GRATEFUL FOR ANYTHING. .NOT EVERYTHING..BIG DIFFERENCE...ANY PERSON WHO I SERVED A PURPOSE...OR THEY SERVED MINE..TO FEEL NO FEAR IN WHAT WAS TO HAPPEN WHEN THE RIGHT GOT PULLED OUT.. What I would have experienced as a morning pit in my stomach of HOW..WHAT WILL ..WHAT IF. ..IS NOW .. THROUGH GOD...THROUGH ONE SOON FUL AT A TIME. .IN a day. ..I learn a transcending thought..do something that first thought gives me pause..and discomfort...IN wont numb..not run..IN now know with almost 3 years of what my saboteurs old self would perceive and have me believe..was hiding out..old behaviors..To the kniwlwdge..belief and testimony that what gives me pause..is an area of attention..and breakthrough and miracle ate my expectation based upon my experience and fact. To those who feel I blow them off..or must be untruthful when I literally have been in my new home leaving for necessary outings and by Grace ..return to the UNCONDITIONAL STATE OF LOVE AND NOW BY THE BOYS ..MY BOYS THAT EVEN SOME DAYS ...ARE A REASON TO GET IT TOGETHER! TO FIND IN RETROSPECT THESE ARE THE BEST OF DAYS So here I sit with Owners Association monthly newsletters and the inspiration to change what I entered into and not being played by suckers who think because I listen...means I dont know you think my kindness. .weak.. Im now operating smarter. .not harder..With hard work to change what was a chess game for a lose lose...and have others pay for your misery that goes blamed.. not embraced ...I have been blessed by action of doing...the overzealous at times energy to see some would use Gods beautiful land SND their ignorant stance affecting them as well!!!! Their homes are what the stakes they gamble with...NOT MINE..NOT NOW AND FROM Negativity. .to slander .to touching my property..disregarding new bylaws ..directives..and nd nd as of late.. certain someone taking purchases from my door..that was left for one hour..A person I shpuld havr compassion being in the Light..yet..theft..from a person whose posessiins..car..repossessed. .lights turned off..robbing Peter to pay Paul. .I am the targeted Patsy..I thank my past for allowing me to see how I have walked that path...yet not to the degree of pathetic obsession..resentment of where I am in my life..By Gods Grace for what I have put forth in my correction of said past..YOU DONT KNOW ME..You must work a job you hate..or have children you despise in private..and it goes on..but to write this ..have you come to my mind without pause I type..flowing and that is my Truth. .to work on if error exists ...or to embrace out of my relatively new courageous manner..I am strong..oh how much si...but my non conflict..non confrontational aspect of my being that has held me back from the best of what God purpose Is foe me...Is encourage my words to flow to the electronic medium....Is went from a physical rage to handle you..to now utilize what my position is as a person who accrued integtity..and all bets were against me..and nd there were bets..When Grace hits you when it hits you and you are ready. ..I WAS READY..IN A NANOSECOND...IN COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE OFF THAN IMAGINABLE..LETS LEAVE THAT THERE..AS ITS NOT MY EXPERIENCE..MY ATTACHMENT IS TO FEEL THE GREATEST SENT OF BEING AS VESSEL OF LIGHT..LOVE..AS BEACON FOR MY HIGHEST POWER. ..IRONICALLY. ..OR REQUIRED BEING NOT BRAIN WAS HER INTSSFRONICALLYNTO THE GOODY GOODY THAT IF NOT FOLLOW ED THROUGH..MY WORLD GOES BACK TO A HELL THST IS WHAT INTSSFRONICALLYNTO SEE AND AND RESPOND ING TO IN THE THIEF AT MY DOOR. MY GOD WOULD HAVE ME MINDS IN DIGNITY..AND MIND TO PLACE ANOTHER AHEAD OF MY CREATOR OUT OF FEAR..INTSSFRONICALLYNTO MUCH MORE DAY AGAIN THAN UTILIZED MY POSITION TO CREATE A CHANGE ..A CIRCUMSTANCE THAT CREATES THE RESULT I SEE IN NOT JUST CREATING..AS GOD HAS DONE THIS..MY HOME ..HE SHARED WITH ME...BUT THE SMALL DEVIL TOOLS THAT QUELL ALL THE BEAUTIFUL ..ALLOWING FUL THE MARKS UPON THE GIFT THAT I HAVE RECEIVED AND WITNESSED..ALLOWING LONG WITH FAMILY...STRANGERS...HOW I WAS PUT IN A LIFE OR DEPT ARENT THAT I WAS PROTECTED ...AS MY TRUTH NATURE...INTENTIONS ONLY BETWEEN GOD..MYSELF.. BY ALLOWING ANYTHING TO MAR THIS MIRACLE I WAKE UP..AND BY WAS ING UP.. WOULD BE SPITTING IN GODS EYE IN APPRECIATION ! I THINK NOT! WIithout fear of response..People who are apathetic to help ..give offers of assistance ..even during my familys horrific loss..I remember folks..So my home will be what I NEVER dreamed..as homelessness was not lost on me..I worked amd gave blood for my home..my property. .So sit back and to argue..negate for the state of arguing..negativity. .spit in the wind for better results. . To think I am solely the smile and generous person regardless of what you think of me..have done to me...thats on you... I am grateful to be this and considered by most this . . That would be continuing the half measure. .as nighttime is the truth teller..no toss no turn as it relates to any situation where I have been not heard..or my Strength of God within me stifled. So I Thank The Universe for my time out to see what I was deluding myself into thinking I was rising above by doing nothing..AS I KNOW GOD HAS ALREADY WRITTEN YOUR LIFE ON HIS PALM...YOU JUST THINK YOU ARE ENTITLED TO MORE..BLASPHEME! I AM IN GRATITUDE TO TAKE AWAY AS I MOVE FORWARD WITH MY TASKS TO NOT FIX..THATS GID ..BUT TO DO SOMETHING ..AS GOD WILL SUPPORT WHEN I AM AFRAID. .AND TO FEEL FEARLESS...I AM ONCE AGAIN GIVEN BRIGHTEST OF BRIGHT ACKNOWLEDMENT VIA AWARENESS IN SPIRIT IN SPIRIT ATION INSPIRATION! IN ANY SITUATION THAT GIVE DISCOMFORT...UNEASE.. IN TANY SITUATION THAT IS LACKING IS WHAT I HAVE NOT GIVEN!
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 00:11:01 +0000