Im not sure if anyone knows this, but my fourth pet scan is Monday, January 26 in Baton Rouge. The results from this scan will determine when I can have my autologous stem cell transplant. Im hoping that my transplant can begin the first of February, & in order for that to happen, Im almost positive that the majority of my cancer has to be gone. Ive been stressing about this for a few days now, & I would greatly & sincerely appreciate it if everyone could take a moment to pray for me. As the tears continue to roll down my face, Ive been asking God for good results & the strength to accept whatever happens bc I know it will be His will. But, Im still so scared. I havent been this scared since the day I was told the chemo wasnt working bc the cancer had spread. I have never felt so helpless & devastated as I did that day. I was completely heartbroken. The only thing that can relate to that is when I thought Id never be able to have my babies, but thats covered, so I definitely have reason to smile! I have faith in knowing that whatever happens Monday its all contributing to the greater good, Gods Master Plan. Some of you may think its crazy to even worry about the results bc life can be so much worse. I totally understand that, & Im so grateful that God has blessed me with strength, understanding, compassion, patience, determination, & support from family & friends. Throughout this journey, I feel that Ive maintained a positive attitude while facing so many traumatic things I never thought Id encounter: having night sweats so bad that my sheets were wet, weighing barley 100 lbs., losing my hair, shaving my head, having a bone marrow biopsy done without anesthesia, shots everyday, getting stuck with needles all the time in general, having mouth sores so bad to the point of not being able to drink water, nausea & vomiting, exhaustion to the point where I couldnt even bathe or feed myself, etc. But aside from those things, Id have to say the worst thing in the world I had to go through was telling the people I love individually about my diagnosis. Seeing people cry over me truly broke my heart. When I had to tell my Mom, Gran, & Aunt Ellen, I thought my heart literally broke in half. That was the HARDEST thing in the world to do bc I couldnt even imagine the pain they were feeling bc I know how much they love me. Some of the people I chose to tell first are still in my life & some are not, & God has showed me who genuinely loves me. Im not saying all this so everyone feels bad for me. I just want people to genuinely understand the effects of cancer. Believe me, I had no idea before this!!!!!! Having cancer has taught me many things: make each day truly count, always be happy, be forever grateful, be strong, love fiercely, count your blessings, & so many other things. I have been SO BLESSED by God throughout my entire life & especially this journey. Yes, Ive faced heartache, but the blessings Ive been given greatly exceed that. I know this is a superrrr long post, but I just had a lot on my heart tonight. Again, I would greatly appreciate it if everyone could say a little prayer that I have good results Monday, & no matter what the results, God give me the strength to accept them, & also, for all the people who are battling cancer & their families. Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read this & let me pour my heart out. Without my prayer warriors, I couldnt have gotten this far! I love you all!💗 XOXO, Paige
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 05:53:05 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015