Important news, everyone gather: It is with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to my special little buddy, Rev. Patrick B.C. Molloy. He is embarking on a cross country trip that will prove as excruciatingly physical as it is spiritually meaningless. Always the Tesla to my Edison, the Salieri to my Mozart, the Steve Urkel to my Stephan Urquelle, he will be greatly missed. There are few men in this world I would rather constantly overshadow and prove an inspiration and mentor to in their darkest moments. Ride safe, my friend. Now! If you have two months* available and would like to be a temp life-partner (fellas)/temp girlfriend (ladies), please message me directly. Your responsibilities would include: Watching me drink at bars Allowing me to (constructively) criticize all aspects of your life (while Im drunk) Non-judgmentally discussing race politics in America (while Im drunk) Long walks in Astoria Park to gossip (while Im [usually] sober) Farting contests If this sounds like the role for you, dont hesitate! Apply today! *Two month period probationary. If I do in fact like you more than Patrick upon his arrival back to NYC his services will be terminated.
Posted on: Wed, 18 Jun 2014 00:42:27 +0000
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