In honor of the Award season, and because I know you like these celebrities probably more than you like me, I will make an attempt to curry your favor and admiration--and boost my seasonally affected self esteem-- by briefly brag-bragging about my interactions with famous people; a bogus ploy, but otherwise true. Each one has a story, but youll have to ask. I will start at the very beginning...I... ...handed Eleanor Roosevelt a shove--then asked her a question that embarrassed the shit out of everyone there but her. ...had F. Zappa tell me he liked my plaid hat in a Hojos. ...had J. Gandolfini ask me for directions out of Central Park in a blizzard.(How the hell do I get outa here?). ...had Neil Young apologize to me. ...had my arms around Michelle Pfeiffer, teaching her how to swing a bat. ...helped Gong Li with her bike problem (the only Chinese person who cant ride a bike, apparently). ...literally bumped into G. Depardieu and D. Sutherland. ...narrowly missed colliding head-on with Joni Mitchell driving her van in the Hollywood Hills (I wasnt driving). ...fell in step and talked with Ram Dass after whistling an old spiritual coming down my stairs. He used to lecture 3 blocks from me every Sunday when I was a teen and I went often. ...gave Tim Leary a big bud, which he promptly ate. ...told Joseph Heller (I was friends with his son) that Catch 22 was the funniest book Id ever read. Did you really read it? He responded. I was ether an idiot or a liar. What do they call that again? ...ran into Richard Gere 3 times in one day. He finally told me I had paint in my ear. ...hung out all afternoon at the top of Belvedere Castle with Tommy Lee Jones and never said a word to him. ...likewise Graham Chapman in a wedding dress, but we chatted throughout the Castle. ...likewise Jennifer Grey before dirty dancing came out. ...hung out with J. Belushi, R. Williams and two ladies in Central Park for 40 minutes while Williams did schtick imitating Belushis French maid. ...met Henry Miller on his 80th birthday. ...along with a friend, brought Charles Bukowski some beer, and hung out while a woman sculpted a bust of him (back when he wrote dirty stories for the L.A Free Press and no one had heard of him). You guys operate typewriters? was his greeting to us. ...threw out an original J.-M. Basquiat because I was pissed at him (I knew him when he was 14 -15 years old). Probably would have been worth at least one million bucks. Anger mismanagement. ...was told, out of nowhere, You look sane by Phillip Glass at a party for him at the Dakota after his Carnegie Hall premier. (Must have been a brief moment of clarity). ...used to play softball with Ron Perlman (such a sweetie), Jeff Daniels (ditto), David Letterman, Roche sisters, and the late, great relatively unknown singer/songwriter Jack Hardy, whom I highly recommend giving a listen to. I missed a few, but who cares, right? (Am I late in asking that?) saving the best for last... ...hung out twice with Katherine Hepburn at Belvedere Castle, listened to her tell stories of her early life and meanderings in Central Park (she used to pick up trash) and watched her crawl up the stone stairs on all fours, after putting down her cane and saying--matter-of-factly, but with a twinkle in her eye--, Well, I cant go up the at stairs with thi-is. ...have lived almost my entire life being myself, which has been a humbling privilege (Hey look! It worked!). For the next time you play 6 Degrees...oh yeah, I met Kevin Bacon at the Belvedere too.. he was very nice and made a donation. So, do you like more more/less/same?
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 21:01:40 +0000
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