It really is a choice -- what do you choose? “Know Thyself” All of us have heard this aphorism. Most of us acknowledge that unless you know yourself first, you really can’t achieve much in life. We also realize that we each have immense potential to create amazing things and find lasting happiness. And yet.... Most of us don’t even scratch the surface of knowing who we really are, let alone figuring out what we have the potential to become. We are so confused that we keep oscillating between overconfidence and low self-esteem. One minute we are filled with a definite purpose for life and the next we are completely desolate. How can anyone hope to find lasting happiness in this state? Asking the right questions, is sometimes in itself the answer. Here is a list of questions to get to start on a journey of self-discovery, releasing the potential that is trapped within and consequently finding lasting happiness. Who Are You? What is the one thing that makes you special and unique? There is no other person on this planet quite exactly like you. For just a moment, quit focusing on what you are not, what you wish to be, or what others expect from you and find out what is the one thing you already have that makes you special. Identify your “special”-ness, acknowledge it, respect it and make it central to how you carry yourself. How do people perceive you? Do people see you for the special person that you are? Do they appreciate your unique abilities? “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” How can you bridge the gap between what you are uniquely capable of being and the person that you currently are? If money was not a constraint, what would you be doing with your time? Write a book? Become a singer? Grow a beautiful garden? Spend more time with your family? Take your time. Feel free to daydream. Once you have the vision in your mind, think of what is the one thing you can do now to move just one step closer to that vision. When you have a vision and start taking action, the universe will conspire to make it a reality. What do you do for a living? There is nothing deep about this question. It really is as simple as it sounds. If your answer matches (or will lead you towards) what you answered to the previous question, you are on the right track. If answered “Become a writer” above and “I am an engineer” to this one, you need to figure out how to bridge the two. What are you grateful for? How long did you have to think to answer that question? If you answer was not immediate - if the images of your family and friends, your health, your ability to see, hear, walk and talk did not come to your mind instantly, you should start looking into developing an attitude of gratitude. Remember the quote - “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” If you die tomorrow, will you be happy with the life you’ve lived? I don’t want to sound morbid, but it’s true -- you really could die tomorrow. Have you lived a good life? Have you left good memories to last your kids a lifetime? Have you forgiven everyone who has wronged you and have you asked for forgiveness from everyone you have wronged? If you haven’t seen it yet, I would highly recommend watching the last lecture by Professor Randy Pausch. What is the one movie/ one book you don’t mind watching/ reading over and over? The human mind responds strongly to narratives, so the story that touches you the most is the one that can tell you a lot about yourself. Or the one that you aspire your life to be like. Who Are Your friends and foes? If you are in a sinking ship with everyone you know, and you could only save 10 people, who would it be? A lot of us don’t even realize who the most important people in our lives are. We constantly try to impress random people who hardly care about us, at the expense of neglecting those that matter the most to us. Are you aware of the handful of people that really mean something to you? If you die today, who will miss you the most? Now, flip that around -- who are the people that have you on their list of most cherished people? Are you leaving behind a legacy that at least a handful of people will cherish? What will they say in your eulogy? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers - this is just an exercise to get you to know yourself better. Are you a better person today than you were last year at this same time? Or 10 years ago? The source of a lot of misery in our lives is because we keep comparing our worst moments with the best of those around us. The only way to break out of this is to change your reference for comparison. Are you a better person today than you were before? Are you on a path of growth? Are you moving forward, standing still or slipping backwards? What was your last random act of kindness? When did you last give something in spite of knowing that it’ll never be paid back? What goes around does come around - what will come back to you? How many hours of a day do you spend on unproductive activities like watching TV, snooping around on others’ facebook profiles, idle gossip etc.? On the flip side, those of you with kids, how many hours a day do you actually spend with your kids without distractions like TV, phone etc.? What if you lose all your money? Will you be so distraught that you will want to end your life? Will you be so angry and frustrated that you won’t be able to think straight? Will you be sad but eventually recover? No doubt, you will always need money. But as long as you remember (and believe) that you are the master of the money and can make some no matter what life throws at you, you will be able to roll with life’s punches and thrive in spite of them. Who is making most of the decisions in your life - you, those around you or your circumstances? On that note, you are the master of your life as well. But a lot of us find it much easier to give up that power and make circumstances, or worse, the people around us, the masters of our lives. Do you ever find yourself saying “I’m not happy because...”? It does not matter what comes after the because... that because is the way you hand over your power. Watch your thoughts, watch your words and reclaim your power over your life. What is the one thing you fear the most when you think of yourself as an old person? Are you worried about looking old? That’s like fearing sunsets.... why be scared of something that is guaranteed to happen and is very dignified if you just change your perspective? Are you worried about not having money or close family? That’s like having a cow in your backyard and worrying about milk.... spend your time building up a bank balance and nurturing your relationships now. The same goes for being sick and frail - as long as you take good care of your health and don’t abuse your body now, you will be able to hold a lot of diseases at bay when you are older. Stop being scared and live your life now in such a way that you can continue to celebrate your life right into a ripe old age. Finally, what is your life all about? Are you just sleepwalking through life or are you marching forward with eyes wide open, filled with joy and vitality? When you choose the latter, irrespective of how “regular” or “boring” your life may seem at present, you will have opportunities to make little differences around you that can change the course of history! Bonus Question And before we wind up I want to ask you a bonus question. You read incredibly powerful articles here regularly --but what do you do after reading these articles? Do you just go on with your life treating it as a drudgery, whining and arguing your way around the people closest you? Or do you live each day as if it were a treasure, enjoying the little moments with those dearest to you as opportunities to make lasting memories? It really is a choice -- what do you choose? -by Sumitha Bhandarkar,the creator of afineparent.
Posted on: Sat, 31 Aug 2013 10:01:26 +0000
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