It was this exact night 3 years ago where I found myself on the edge of change... Full of fear, nervous, excited, wide-eyed in the face of decision... Do I continuing living the destructive, selfish, medicated existence I had grown to rely on all those years, stay in the comfort zone I had spun to protect myself, and die in the choke-hold of addiction? Or try something different? I honestly believe that the hardest thing I have ever had to do was admit to myself that when it really comes down to it, I dont know shit. At the end of the day all I know is where I have been. Years ago my very good friend Tracee Crump gave me some words of wisdom that has stuck with me, she said, If you dont like your life, change it. Its one of those statements that is said and forgotten, but its become something i think of everyday. Stepping out into the world I was fortunate enough to meet some amazing people that grabbed my hand as perfect strangers and ended up saving my life. Keithie Powerful Lawrence, Juliette Morton, Nestor De Leon, Tyann Burton, Donald Haynes, Deborah Mayer, these people pulled me from my grave and showed me a better way, a better life, a better me and taught me what it is to be truly alive and merely saying thank you could never be good enough to convey my gratitude. And if that wasnt enough, the path they set me on led me to cross paths with people like Seth Unger, and William Shear who were willing to take a chance on a 37 year old drifter and gave me an opportunity to make a life for myself and that opportunity has led to so much... Its led to my roommate Eric Anderson, who has become my conscience, my adviser, and my very good friend, and Liz Clarke who is really just a ball buster, but I love her and I am grateful she is part of my daily life. But it was more, it was the support of my family, Debbie Stolba-Polye, Edward Sullivan, Mary Ellen Polye, Michelle Polye DeNicola, Allison Marie, and Michael Polye, and my Crew Pko Esperanzo, Scott Davis, Chrissy Blake, Natalie Kitanovski, Greg Dutilly, Tim Dutilly, Donna Swallow Roach, Jennifer Miller (Happy Birthday!), Justin Marrill, Angel Lattner, and the list could go on and on... For the first time in my life I am actually happy because I realized that happiness isnt about having everything you want, its wanting everything you have... I love and owe you all so much more than I will ever be able to give or show and it was important to me that all of you know that i am aware of that... 10/6/14 makes 3 years sober.
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 01:13:12 +0000