Its the holidays. Im allowed to be sappy. Indulge me for five minutes. So the New Release Tuesday staff Christmas card went live today. (By Christmas card, we mean seizure inducing video of ½ of us dancing around like idiots to a ridiculously catchy version of “Marshmallow World.”) A few months ago, I made the mistake of leaving this amazing group of people to chase an opportunity I thought would be best for me as a writer. I was encouraged by all them (and those closest to me) to go for it and be willing to take risks. Thats good advice, but when its void of Gods approval, it means very little. I jumped into something that smelled rotten but glimmered with potential. It didnt sit right with my spirit, yet I chalked it up to growing pains. I wasnt treated very kindly while I was there, and there were even times when those I trusted scarred my heart with words and actions Im still trying to let go of. Centuries after Eden, mental warfare is still Satans craftiest tactic. I was only gone for a brief season, and while it was completely necessary in hindsight (I learned a lot about the butt-ugly, cynical, jaded, territorial parts of myself I never would have confronted otherwise), there were days when I felt like Id lost the only stable family Ive ever really been a part of. Its incredible how people thousands of miles away whom you barely know can become your only lifeline to what seems real in this life. God redeemed my time away, He gave me the opportunity to return with a new outlook, and He restored close friendships I thought Id lost because I was too stubborn to see how He was moving. In very profound sense, Hes given me a piece of that family back. I still grapple with areas of regret and struggle and questions and self-doubt. I still wonder if Im where God wants me or if I need to make my heart open to change again, but in His grace, Hes allowed me a constant with a group of incredible people whom I love dearly. And until He makes it clear that its time to move on (like, for reals), theyre stuck with me. Hopefully they dont mind. And hopefully Ill get a few dozen more moments like this to look back on and see how He was working all along. Marshmallows optional. *mini blog over*
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 04:26:36 +0000
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