Ive known my birth father (sperm donator) for 10 years out of my 52 years on this planet and this is his most recent (and will be the last) correspondence (& my replies/thoughts) to me. Those of you who have or had (or are) GOOD & CARING (interested) fathers, appreciate your blessings because some us got dealt men like this. . . . . and even at 87, he cant make it right. Traci, you sure do have some screwed up ideas, and have had them since the days when I was fighting your grandmother to get custody. (he was GONE before I was even born, he NEVER fought for custody nor even paid child support. I was 5 when my mother died but I had screwed up ideas even then?) By the way, she hated me because she suspected that you were not the product of your mother and I, but rather the guy two doors away who your grandma worshiped. I was ready and desired to prove whether or not you were a product of mine or not. You were brought up in a circle of hate and never got over it. (WOW) I will always remember when I visited the Buffalo hospital where your mother was in her last days and with your mothers help, I was allowed to spend several of her last hours at her bedside and tightly holding hands. I know your mother appreciated that and was not happy that your grandma attempted to keep us apart. (perhaps because he was a bigamist?) In the message that you just wrote, you show that you are still bitter and cant quite accept me as I am. (I said I forgave him for being a weak man and an absent father) I have no regrets for the things that I have done in my life. I am well respected and well liked in my own friendships and acquaintances. I am content with who I am and proud of it. You have a sister who also has similar ideas about me and she is the one who has decided that she doesnt want to know me or deal with me and that is as it will be. I have tried real hard with her and I am ready to accept it as it is. (He has 3 known biological children and never raised one of us) I have lived a long and full life, developed many many friends who I know respect me (certainly more than my 2 presumed daughters) and I dont need to get into a discussion which can not go anywhere or solve anything. (Presumed?) What you cant understand is the many many years and times in which I was ready to stop fighting and just enjoy what we might have had together. To be to you; the other half, of what I wanted from you. I have never turned my back to you and proof is that I was aware of your moves that wound up in Vermont and some of your activities, but never bothered you , while hoping that you might some day, wish that we could be a family group. I actually sat in a car right in front of your consignment shop and watched as some friends decided that they wanted to see what you were doing. I had reports that you were fairly successful at that store. But I also have heard of your political and local activities. I never tried to force you to accept me and I never will. You must take me as I take you with respect flowing back and forth between us. Otherwise, I see no future in chasing after something that you cant seem to understand. Perhaps if you had grown up in my home, you may have turned out much differently. You might have actually enjoyed life and a circle of friends, somewhat different than those you have chosen in the past. (Watching me from afar but not connecting with me? Friends wanted to see what I was doing but not the man who fathered me? Respect? Cant Understand? Dont enjoy life? Chosen different friends?) Well there is it. (Sure is) I started off by saying that you seem to have some screwed up ideas; but I have not said anything negative other than that. But you still find some reason to say very negative things about me., (And you dont even know me !!!!) (Like he knows me OR deserves a place in my life, my sons or grandchildren. . . . . .LOL)
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 12:29:34 +0000
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