Ive spent a great deal of time contemplating the notion “time heals everything.” I have had many tell me time does heal and just about as many (even after 50 years) say it does not. Which, then, is true? I say both – but both statements are answers to different questions. Healing and restoration are not the same. I believe those who eventually make peace with death come to know the difference. I wonder if part of the struggle of grief is confusing restoration with healing. if I talked to a war veteran who lost a limb 20 years ago, I am rather confident time will not have restored him. Surely there will be healing; the site of injury will seal up and scars may fade over time, but his limb will still be missing. It will always be missing. I lost my mother whom I depended on for protection and love; I would have rather lost all my limbs, my sight and hearing than lose my mom. For me, losing my mother is infinitely worse – for a mother is more than a limb, they are our source of our heart and soul. Like a lost limb, she will always be missing from my life and I must learn to walk and live without her. At least in this life, I am coming to terms that I will not experience restoration, however much my broken heart desires it. Like an amputee, I will always be missing a part of me. Yet, thankfully I am healing. There has never been a day, or an hour, I don’t think of her … that I don’t reach for her. I have, at long last, finally reached a point with grief where there are days I do not cry. However, I seem to make up for those days when I do cry. But I don’t cry all the time. Until recently, I used to. The passage of time will not restore my mom anymore than an amputee can regrow a limb, but time will allow my wounds to close if I dress them properly. One day, in a time and place different than this, I will see my mom again and I will fall to my knees and weep. Until such things are restored, I am thankful that time and patience has seen the bleeding stop. The site of my wound is as tender as it’s ever been; tears and heartache are just a memory away. But, with heaven’s help I am healing, however slowly, a little more each day.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 07:09:48 +0000
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