Ive tried to be a good person since getting out of prison. I have failed several times. Not criminally. Worse. I have socially blundered. Those sting my conscience most these days. For example, I was a Sundance Fellow in Utah for a week the summer of 2001. The program director was a Utah native, and extremely nice to me. When I came back for the film festival the next year I bumped into her and we had coffee. She was so smart and cool and I was such a dolt that I kept asking her why she stayed in provincial Utah when the wide world awaited her. To her ear that was like me asking her why she rode the short bus. Like dont you know you are better than these dummies. It was a bad moment. She chilled on me and the last few minutes of the coffee were painful. I knew Id screwed up but it wasnt until later in the day that I realized my specific idiocy. Then two years ago in Austin I sat with an old writer friend whod migrated to Texas, found a wife and had a daughter. Sometime during our lovely brunch I insulted Texas, like more than a couple times. Again, baffled that my friends wife would love her native state when she seemed so cool and worldly. I cringe thinking about those moments. They keep me humble. Im not the most sophisticated man, I get that, but damn, Im not supposed to be that hurtful and stupid either.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 00:44:50 +0000
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