JOKES It is said that Husband is the head of the family, But remember that wife is the Neck of the family. & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. …………………………………………………………………………………………… A white couple gets a black child. Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black? Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt! …………………………………………………………………………………………… Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why dont you do that? Husband: How can I? I dont even know her. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Cool message by a wife which applies to most husbands: Dear Mother-in-law, Dont Teach me how to handle my children, Im living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement …………………………………………………………………………………………… A man and his wife, now in their 60s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! ............................................................................................. A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoons activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. Where have you been? demanded his wife when he entered the house. Darling, replied the man, I cant lie to you. Ive been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didnt wake up until eight oclock. The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, You liar! Youve been playing golf! .......................................................................................... A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, What was that for? She says, I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it. He says, Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on. She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, What was that for? She answers, Your horse called. ......................................................................................... Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Marias funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, At last, theyre finally together. Her sister sitting in the front row said, Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband? The priest replied, I mean her legs. .............................................................................................. A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, Relatives of yours? Yep, the wife replied, in-laws. .............................................................................................
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 10:56:40 +0000
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