Jacked up on the coffee I had to drink to get me through 2 shift... Work clothes washing...... And this brain of mine is just a whirring away.... I tried to fight it. Did everything in my power to deny any spark whatsoever. Talked it over with my friends and myself until I was blue in the face. I was scared to death. Terrified. But its hard to be afraid of and turn a blind eye to someone so genuine. Weve spent countless hours cramped up in a car on road trips, gone on so many hilarious adventures.....half of them unplanned...and even when things dont go the way theyre supposed to, we still have a blast. Im unaccustomed to having doors opened for me all the time The good morning and good night texts every single day and night Being called beautiful without it sounding forced Being asked how my day was/is Someone being nervous around me (Its just me) Someone jumping up to grab something for me no matter how stupid, small, or how close it is after Ive worked all day Hearing how special I am, and not because they want anything from me or because of anything Ive done for them Someone who gets the OCD & can keep up with my train of thought...and even when they cant Someone paying attention to what I have to say & actually remembering it...even when I dont.... Someone who doesnt hold my flaws against me, but likes them Someone who always has positive things to say even when I think the sky is falling Not having to share Complete, raw honesty Someone wtih real goals, motivation, and true ambition of their own Someone who finds me interesting, intriguing, mysterious & deep.....and not just curious about me physically Flowers all the time just because Someone who accepts & attempts to understand my daughter, and even does little things for her (us) that are so big in her mind. Thats a huge deal. Coffee in the mornings Real dates Not having to hide Having fun any & everywhere we go instead of always going to the same place Breena being included in almost everything Being encouraged Someone whose self-worth/life/relationships/desires arent measured by what everyone else says or thinks Someone who is always mentally and emotionally available Hugs No pressure No tension Never having to wait/wonder/worry Not always feeling like a failure Intellectual conversations Playfights Hockey Eye contact So much thoughtfulness Someone who backs up words with actions Someone who loves and accepts my friends and family without judgment Someone my friends and family accepts and can respect Someone who doesnt need me. Someone who keeps me chill even when I dont want to be Easter baskets :) Someone who values quality time & understands that if you can have an amazing time together, it doesnt matter where it is or how much you (dont) spend. Being comforted Making new friends who arent just out to dig up a little dirt or watch me fail Brownie points Someone who ALWAYS holds me until I fall asleep and doesnt get mad when I dont hear the alarm. ;) Spontaneity Silence before slander Holding hands Being important Little visits at work Not having to stay medicated And so much more......... Although we were both pretty much blind-sided, and although were riding the brakes, I need you to know how much youre appreciated. Youre a breath of fresh air. A few years ago I would have asked what I did to deserve someone like you in my world, but youve kinda been showing me, so I dont have to. You thanked me earlier for a list of things a mile long, but Id be willing to bet you had no idea how long MY list was. :) Your patience with me in itself is enough to earn you a medal. Ive been in denial in my world of confusion, setbacks, transgressions and pain over the past few months, but youve been right there, smiling and unwavering every step of the way & I cant even begin to tell you how much it means. And I hope that I can do as much for you as you have for me as effortlessly as you have. I hope you know how amazing you are. Bear with me. Im almost there.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 05:47:29 +0000
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