Kind of a long read, but I like to write and share silly stories. Sorry if there are typos. I got this facebook message from Cupid. I didnt even know we were friends. But turns out he has been up North this week, doing his Valentines day job in advance. It seems he is in our local hospital with a very advanced stage of syphilis. And he asked me to come and visit him. I thought, what the hell, why not? Got nothing better to do. I got there, and he was not looking good. Looked like he was 90 years old, skin all wrinkled and grey. I sat down in the chair next to his bed, handed him the water bottle so he could take a sip, and I took his hand in mine. Are you really Cupid? He coughed and nodded. Why did you want me to come here? Because my boy, you know more about loving, and not being loved since anyone I have known. And I need you to take over my job. I said, Old man, you are crazier than a shit house rat. No one flies around and makes people love each other. It just happens, when you meet the right person. And often, you just dont find them. He gripped my hand very tight, That is bullshit boy, and I think you know it. I remember when you fell in love for real, I was there. I knew he was very sick, so I humored him. So what is it exactly you want me to do? He said, Ever see the Santa Clause movie with Tim Allen? I nodded. Just put on the suit, and grab the bow... With his last breath he wheezed, Arrows never run out. Suitcase in the corner... Code blue went off, and I grabbed the suitcase and walked out as all the Docs and nurses ran in, but I figured that crazy old coot to be at peace. I got home and it took a few drinks and a couple hours before I opened that case up. There was a white suit with wings on the back, and 200 thousand dollars in cash. And there was a little white bow in there with an arrow that had a heart engraved on it. So I pulled it out and had a look. It seemed like it would fit. Might sound a little weird, but I thought, why not...try it on. This tale has been long enough. I just want to say the suit worked. He never really told me how to fly, but he was right about the arrows. As it turns out, flying around and shooting people in the heart with an arrow is against the law. I got paid well for a week of work. But you got city police, state police, FBI, Homeland Security, Task forces, helicopters. I flew into a pine tree and got busted. That money he gave me not even close to my bail is. Happy Valentines Day!
Posted on: Sat, 08 Feb 2014 07:44:17 +0000
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