My Dream Last Night: It is Erev Shabbas, already after shkiah, and Im running late to go to the Chabad House for davening and a meal. In my haste to leave the house, and while fumbling around in the dark, I accidentally put on an extremely trampish, bright-red pencil skirt and blouse, glittery makeup and eyeshadow, black lipstick, and high heels. When I get to the Chabad House, I suddenly realize that I am dressed completely inappropriately, and I am surprised that an unusual number of my non-Jewish high school friends are there. After davening, we all grab seats for the meal, and Im shocked to find out that Im sitting next to David Foster Wallace, who apparently is a community-member regular at this shul. I explain why Im dressed the way I am, and he just goes uh-huh. We make small talk, and it is obvious that I really want to sit next to him, but that he doesnt really want to sit next to me at all. When we get up to wash for motzei, I realize that a lot of people are reshuffling their seats, and Im scared that I wont be sitting next to DFW. When he gets back from washing, I awkwardly try to get a seat next to him while not seeming overly eager, which results in me knocking the entire table over, so he goes to a different room to eat. My high school friends spend the rest of the evening trying to set me up with someone else from our school, who is gay.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 13:01:45 +0000
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