My Husband is in Army. I am in my parents house. I like to go to his place. Can I go? Is it right? COUNSELLING: A woman devotee asked like this: (She did not request anonymity, but, I have hidden myself.): “Hare Krishna Dandavat Pranam. My husband is in Army n last year he got transferred to Dinjan Assam . N now he is getting quarters there . till day before yesterday even i was eagerly waiting to go there but now i am very much confused scared to go. so i need ur guidance n advice , my problem is My husband is telling there will be no proper current facility . there will be power cut always, n we r not transferring the LPG gas so i have to cook in electric or induction stove which depends on electricity . n i follow 4 regulative principles so i cant eat out which includes onion garlic n both veg n non veg or cooked together in army canteens. n campus is out of city n its like forest , many families will be staying there in campus . n he will be having night duties n sometimes they may send him other places for duties for 2 or 3 days. then i should be alone . I am confused that i have to be with him n adjust or i have to be at my parents home ( from 1yr i am in my parents house). I feel like my husband is also not happy by keeping quarters even he will have more responsibility n tension other than his heavy work . But he is telling that u come n stay but u have to Adjust n go , so what to do. shall i surrender to Krishna n go n stay with him n follow my patni darma or i have to think abt my safety . I want to share my husband's difficuties be with him n give moral support as he working so hard there away from family . but if i think other side i shuld not be the reasons for his new tensions from my side if i go n stay with him. I shouldnt be a problem for him. N he is not yet in krishna consciousness but sometimes he chants 1 round and when he comes in leave dont eat non veg n come to temple with me , Now as he is alone there he eats non veg n all . so if i go i can cook veg food n offer to Krishna n give prasadam for Him . N i want to stay n serve my husband nicely but i am scared n confused .so what shall i do . Should i go or saty in with my parents.” REPLY: I am very happy thinking of you. India is respected only because of such women like you who like to respect their Patni dharma. My Kudos to you. Really, this is a very difficult decision for you. But, I have clear answer for you to relieve yr confusion. Yes, Patni dharma is important. Actually, your husband is a kshatriya now. Forget about your caste by birth and all. You too are a kshatriya wife now. So, you need not follow the same recommendations meant for other people. Sastras have given some relaxations in rules for kshatriyas alone. Because, they have to spend most of their time in protecting the country. Their duty is 24 hrs duty. So, they can not follow all the rules that we follow. So, these relaxations. Kshatriyas should work thinking of Krishna in their mind. They can do whatever possible saadhanas they can. They may chant whenever they get a gap in between the duties. If the Army rules prohibit religious saadhanas while at duty, they may abstain from doing them. In brief, the kshatriyas may do whatever saadhanas they can. If there is any deficiency, it will not be seriously viewed. So, as the wife of a kshatriya, you need not get tension because of the deficiency of saadhanas. Krishna understands us. Now, about where to live. My advice to you is, please live with your husband. There is no other best place for wives except living with the husband. Your husband is doing a tensionful wife. He may need some consolation some times. He may need the warmth of a wife sometimes. So, if you stay with him, you will be able to relax him whenever he is in work tension. This relaxation given by wife will make him more efficient in his duty. He may avoid some psychological disturbances also. So, my strong opinion for kashatriyas will be to live with wife if it is possible for you. Try your best to cook and offer to Krishna and offer your husband. Let him chant as much as he can, don’t pressurise him. He is a kshatriya. So, let him concentrate in his duty and do K.C saadhanas as much as he can. That is enough. Even the son of my sister is an officer in Army. He is just 22 now. He and 100s of other army men are avoiding non-veg and liquor. Because, army does not compel us to take liquor and non veg. They offer it for those who need them, because, the workers are doing a tensionful job. But, if a soldier or officer likes to avoid these things, they can. Be a soothing factor for your husband who is always trained in his camp to be always vigilant. He may need some relaxation. You take care of that relaxation activity. There is no chance for any threat in the army quarters as it is protected by armymen themselves. So, you need not fear about security issues. However, you maintain a self regulation in freely mingling with other families and armymen to avoid unwanted misunderstandings. You have asked what to do when your husband goes for other camps for some days. If army gives residence in that area also, you can also accompany him. Or, if it is not allowed, you can return to your father’s house only on those days when your husband goes to camps. I have written because, now both of you are young if my assumption is right. So, in this young age, it is better for both of you to remain together as the young age is the most memorable period in one’s life. So, don’t waste it when there are chances for living together with husband. JUST BECAUSE BEING IN THE COMPANY OF HUSbAND, YOU CAN BEAR ANY DIFFICULTIES. Because, your husband is with you. That is enough. If I am in your place, I will act like this only. All the best.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Jun 2013 06:19:47 +0000
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