My hopeless life is a mess right now and forever will be. I do - TopicsExpress

My hopeless life is a mess right now and forever will be. I do not know if it is due to my illness or some sort of personality flaw I have and do not yet realize. I will not ever find someone who has the fortitude to put up with me and all my giant flaws. I assume form here on I will live a life completely alone. I have ruined every relationship that I have ever tried. I always make the huge mistake of showing my great weakness for some reason. Although, it will never apply to any cycling or arm wrestling event. I assume that it is because I save my self anger for such events. Past my giant flaws I do have a great deal of love and loyalty to give towards the person I love. I guess in the grand scheme of things it does not matter if one can not see past my delusions. hallucinations, paranoia and anxiety. I completely understand and I am ashamed that I can not offer more. I truly wish I could do so. I am a fool and will pay for the people that I have hurt in my wasted life. It is a fact that will eat at me everyday.

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