My husband taught my 5 year old son how to ride a big boy bike (no training wheels) a few weeks ago. They practiced nearly every day and he was doing really well alhamdulillah. Then one day he made a turn, lost his balance, and hurt himself. After that, every time my husband tried to encourage him to ride he would make up an excuse and say no. This past Tuesday we were in the garage and I decided to try talking to him about riding again. He protested and said no and the more I tried to convince him the more scared he became and eventually he began to cry. I told him I would walk behind him and I wouldnt let go even for a second, but he was too scared to even hear me out. At this point my husband said to let it be and not to push him. I normally would have agreed but my motherly instinct told me not to give up so quickly. So, I began to gently talk him through his fears. We went over what happened when he fell. We talked about the injury he sustained. We talked about the possibility of him falling again and what *might* happen to him if he did. Within a few moments he stopped crying and I hugged him and said to him that it was okay and he didnt have to ride and we could wait until another time when he was ready. SubhanAllah, just then he completely changed his response and said, No mommy, I want to do it. I want to do it now! He got on the bike and my husband walked right behind him and reassured him that everything would be fine. They practiced this way for a while but he still seemed nervous. Then my husband did something so counterintuitive: he told him to go fast! He began to peddle faster and eventually my husband lost his grip and couldnt keep up. The faster he rode the more in control he felt and the quicker he got over his fear, subhanAllah! Today I saw him outside doing things I could never have imagined just a few days ago. He was not only riding up and down the street completely on his own, but he was standing up from his seat and turning and swerving like a pro! I was so proud of him and so grateful for the invaluable lessons that both my husband and I took from this whole incident: sometimes as parents we think the only way to remedy our childrens fears is to protect them and coddle them to safety, but some situations can be remedied by simply validating their feelings, helping them confront their fears--not run from them, and encouraging them to believe in themselves because we believe in them. May God protect all of our children. Ameen.
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 03:49:03 +0000
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