My people: I have just returned from the Texas Renaissance Festival. Sitting on 55 acres, it is the largest in the nation and boasts an average of five HUNDRED thousand visitors a year. Multiplying 500K by the $25 admission, we arrive at the sum of 12.5 million dollars in ticket sales alone, nevermind all the other income, for instance Layne and I spent over $100 dollars on trinkets and beer, and were not big spenders. Okay it was probably mostly me buying $7.50 beers, but you get the idea. So Im thinking, hot damn, I have 200 acres, I should start a RennFaire. Of course, not having the capital to start out as big as TRF, well have to enter the market a little low end. Some of the things I envison: Admission: Five dollars or a six pack, whichever is colder. Wrestle the Bull: $5 Swordfight the Matt $5 the house keeps all amputated extremities Beer drinking contest with the Matt, $5. Win and you get a free beer. Layne the Piratess makes you walk the plank at cutlass-point, $5 And she runs the petting zoo, with you know, goats, because she says THERE MUST BE GOATS!!! Amber Day tells your fortune for $5: Woooooo!, I see your future...you are buying a cup of wildly ovepriced beer! Paul Murray will paint your face for $5 or your pledge to write in Ron Paul in the next election. Ted Storie will thrill and chill you with spine-tingling tales of WHAT THE GOVERENMENT IS ACTUALLY DOING!!! Michelle Storie, our resident vodun, will shrink your head, $5. And Im not talking psychology here. Talon will read you his poetry stylings for $5, or NOT read them for $10. John W. Boland, dunk the Irish guy, $5 Krissy Anderson will align your chakras or rotate your chakras or whatever New Age what have you, Im not really clear on that except that people will pay for it $5 Raven will probably ignore you, or alternatively follow you about reciting Things Mankind Was Not Meant To Know until you tip her. And last but not least, Daniel Poindexter will be expertly grilling whatever we found lying on the highway the previous night, or alternatively one of the goats from the petting zoo.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 22:52:27 +0000
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