New Science Classroom Rules by abbybyrd (edited by jeffkeene) 1. Enter the room and socialize at your leisure. The daily “bellwork” is just a suggestion that is not in any way intended to promote the acquisition of scientific knowledge over necessary social interactions. 2. Every time you enter the room, please be sure to ask me if we’re watching a movie. I may have neglected to plan a movie, and will quickly be reminded that a feature-length film, however loosely connected to the curriculum, will be both more entertaining and more instructive than whatever lesson I had originally planned. Sure, Star Wars is scientifically valid. 3. Sit wherever you want, if you feel like sitting. Standing up is good, too, or sitting on the stool and leaning back on two, or even one leg. It’s important for those of you who are kinesthetic learners to feel comfortable. 4. Please don’t put your name on any papers that you turn in, especially on multiple-choice quizzes. I enjoy challenging myself to match each of your 125 identities with the intricacies of the way you form the first four letters of the alphabet. 5. When I say “Pass your papers up,” what I really mean is, “Pass your paper to the person either to the left or right of you. Or behind you. Or just keep your paper at your desk; it doesn’t matter.” 6. When I say, “Put your papers in a stack,” what I really mean is, “Throw your papers in a pile facing all different directions. Unless you don’t want to put your paper in the pile. Which is fine too, because I don’t want to stifle your individuality.” 7. When preparing formal lab write-ups, feel free to abandon all conventions in the interest of expressing your creativity. For example, use titles like “Lab” or “(blank).” Festoon your labs with patterned borders, and use interesting fonts in colors such as bubblegum pink and seafoam green. Making your font size extremely large ensures that I can read your lab report from very far away. Making your font size extremely tiny serves as a gentle reminder to visit the eye doctor. Either is encouraged. Or, alternate a sentence in very large type with a sentence in very small type. That keeps me focused. 8. Read your lab conclusion aloud. Then put commas wherever you breathe. 9. Start every other sentence with the interjection “well.” It makes me feel as if you’re right there talking right to me. 10. Use the time when I’m giving directions to multitask. Doodle, stare into space, gesture to someone across the room, pick your nose. Even if you don’t hear how to protect yourself from the hydrochloric acid and carcinogenic substances we are about to use, it’s still good for me to practice explaining it, just so I don’t forget! LOL! 11. Sharpen your pencil at any time, even if you have to walk in front of me while I’m talking to do it, and even if the incessant grinding of the electric sharpener, that sounds as if you are creating a pencil out of a tree trunk, drowns out anything I might be saying. 12. It is a good idea to verify all directions by asking the same question three, four, or five times. 13. Encourage your parents to email me often, and to use capital letters, multiple exclamation points, and an accusatory tone to get my attention and ensure that I will respond promptly. All classes this year will involve parties with piñatas, paper-wad basketball, and hair braiding. Should I bore you at any time, please raise your hand and I will unzip my face to reveal that I am actually a force-wielding, jedi-monkey-clown hybrid who will entertain you with magic tricks and grant each of you 500 extra credit points in addition to a lucrative career in which you will not have to write coherently or have any knowledge of Science.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Feb 2014 16:58:48 +0000
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