Now that I know what TRUE FRIENDSHIP FEELS LIKE !!! People who are unconditionally loving, respectful, considerate, sensitive... and who accept me no matter WHAT... I feel SUPER FREE to express myself... Because I know that all those people last year who said it was my issue not theirs that I was angry when i reacted, responded emotionally about their betrayal, their insensitivity, lack of consideration for my feelings... were THE ISSUE. My only issue was that I felt I was wrong, and took their opinion as truth... abusing myself further... being emotionally responsive, is NOT MY ISSUE... ITS MY GIFT !!!!!! SCREW YOU, IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME... NOR DO I HAVE TO CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS :) THANK YOU, GOD FOR SHOWING ME MY TRUTH IS WORTH MY ATTENTION. I WILL SET MYSELF FREE, BY RELEASING THOSE WHO DONT RESPECT ME... WHO CONDESCEND ME IN EXPRESSION AND MAKE ME FEEL UNWORTHY OF BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!! - IT ONLY MEANS YOU DONT RESPECT YOUR OWN FEELINGS !!! I thought they were right, it was my issue that I was triggered... and it was MY loss, that I was pushing away everyone, Id end up with no friends... etc... now I see, the truth is that... once I found that I dont NEED ANYONE, none of them... and realized I only need ME, I AM MY BEST FRIEND, and those who arent here yet at this awareness... they respond manipulatively to make me hold in my emotional responses, suppress, or find ways around putting up with and tolerating behaviour that my INSTINCT AND GUT FEELINGS SAY IS HURTFUL !!!!... If I DONT FEEL LOVED, YOU ARE NOT THE ENERGY OF LOVE !!! SIMPLE!!! We do NOT respond to love with pain, no matter HOW SENSITIVE WE ARE. Our responses being dramatic may mean... more stored energy is coming out... overflowing... because of a small trigger... because stored emotion that was suppressed is coming out.... does not mean, that it is coming out for no reason... We can ONLY REFLECT!!! I realized this last year... yet, the little bit of me, that was willing to compromise, now is SET FREE.... Because, with THANKS AND GRATITUDE TO MY REAL FRIENDS, I SEE AND FEEL NOW... what TRUE LOVE FEELS LIKE... you will NOT reject my feelings as my issue ...You will not condescend me with pretensious spiritual antics and I love you, unconditionally, but this is your issue, you will get over it when you need to and continue to do the things that triggered me... without any consideration... you will not give me away as a friend... devaluing me, because your ego wants to continue doing what you are... without evaluation of how it affects anyone around you, because you feel safe and comfortable in your attachment... perhaps those people do not have the space internally to reconsider their behaviour and actions. All i know is... Id rather feel free alone, then TRAPPED and surrounded by triggers for pain... by lots of people around me... I have the forest as my home, I have infinite souls waiting to manifest into my life, and I have seen proof in a few friends... without attachment... that there are souls who relate!!!
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 12:18:11 +0000
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