Often, in recent months, I find that I dread the approach of Friday. While most of you are going ‘TGIF’ and ‘Jummah Mubarak’, I’m anticipating four unalloyed days of caregiving, until the nurse comes next Tuesday. I love my mother unconditionally, and am immeasurably blessed to have this opportunity to repay a fraction of the love and care she has lavished upon me. But being a caregiver can also be frustrating, exhausting, trichotillomania-inducing, and desolating, sometimes simultaneously! Silver Linings #3: In Praise of Helpers Everywhere The silver lining in all of this, of course, is that nowadays mum has a nurse twice or thrice per week, and we now have domestic help for 2 or 3 mornings too, depending on my work schedule. A year ago, being a 24/7 caregiver, I virtually stopped being anything else – a daughter, a friend, a teacher, a lover, an activist; in truth I almost stopped being human, operating as a robotic semi-automaton whose sole objective was to survive each daily grind only to repeat it, endlessly. Slowly but very surely going bonkers, I was all the while resisting the notion of employing a caregiver because “I can’t afford to do that when I’m not in full-time employment.” Stooopid. With hindsight, I now recognise that I can’t afford not to engage help as part of my caregiving, for unless I do so, I subsume essential facets of myself. I lose my perspective, I fail to appreciate the small joys and beauties that give me strength and solace, I neglect my mind, body and spirit; in short, I become less than I ought to be. So today’s silver lining is a shout out to the home-based carers, nurse aides, sitters and helpers of every description who allow me and others like me a respite, albeit brief, from our concerns and burdens. They are truly unsung heroes and sheroes, because they liberate us to do the work we love and to do it well. They free us to be better siblings, spouses, children, friends, lovers, activists and teachers. For a short while, we re-discover our passion and our zest, we do things that nourish and sustain us, and we return rejuvenated, to be better caregivers again. Halala!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 22:53:12 +0000
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