Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accused me or criticized me, as soon as I was rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I found myself thinking, Well, that proved once again that I was a nobody. ... [My dark side said,] I was no good... I deserved to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice Holy Spirit that calls us beloved. the spirit of God constitutes the core truth of our existence. Self-rejection is an old but familiar friend I used all through high school and my first two years in college as the excuse for being an introvert, a loner and silent battles I was constantly fighting with my inner demons. Oh yes, on the outside all was well as far as people and friends saw, but on the inside I felt as though I was slowly loose the battle for my sanity. This might sound crazy but the times that felt normal to me was the months I spent pledging my Fraternity. I welcomed the pain because in a crazy way I felt that the physical pain was better than the inner pain, the physical battles and struggles during my pledging period was a welcome change from the inner battles and struggles I was dealing with then. The fear of death had never been a concern of mine, as a law enforcement officer or being locked in a physical altercation with a violent inmate while working in corrections, I think some of my coworkers truly believed I had a death wish lol...... I am a living example that what does not brake or kill you, truly makes you stronger. I dont understand why all this is flowing out of me now after all these years, I dont know who it helps, but I for one absolutely give all thanks and praises to my father in heaven for where i am today, for my spirituality, my emotional stability and health. Ok! gotta find a way to shut the brain off now. So what the heck happen to the Broncos?????? did they even show up for the Game?
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 06:05:41 +0000
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