(PART FIVE) “Maxine,” she said, “Are you really sure you want to leave your family here and move so far away?” “I really want to mom, I do love this place and all of you, but my heart wants to explore,” she said, as she smiled, then looked at me and winked. Way to go mom, I thought. I have a great mom! This was all like a dream come true for me, and now it was more than a dream, it was very real. “Are there any people in California that aren’t savages?” Grandma asked, with a real concern on her face. Then, Grandma sat back and stared at the food in front of her. There was a silence in the room until mom began to chuckle a bit, and then she really started laughing. I also thought what Grandma said was rather funny, but I just stayed quiet until momma started laughing, then I smiled at everyone. “The people in California are just like any of us here mother, they are not wild beasts. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but it must be something silly. They merely live closer together and have different jobs than we do, that’s all,” said mom, as she took a bite of her food and had a little trouble swallowing it while she was still giggling. I was watching everyone very closely. It was an interesting time in my life where I seemed to pay more attention to what others were doing and considering. Grandpa didn’t even move or say a word, he sat there and seemed to be listening while he continued eating his dinner, and would look at me from time to time. Finally, the others began to talk and asked mom about the trip. I forgot to mention that my mom’s three sisters and brother were also there. After all the silence they began to share how happy they were for mom. I was feeling a lot better, and even Grandma was coming around and being happy again. I could tell she was going to miss mom a lot. Mom pulled some pictures of California out of her pocket she had taken while she was on her trip. As she passed them around to everyone, it was fun to see the excitement that was taking place. The whole family really liked the pictures, even Grandpa who smiled and then winked at me. I was very happy for mom and she was very happy. I realized mom was an explorer like me, and wanted to know more than just what she had always known. “Is this place real Maxine?” asked one of her sisters, who’s name I cannot remember. “Of course it is silly, you aren’t that much of a hick are you? You learned about the forty-eight states in school, remember? So you know that California is one of them sister dear,” said mom, as she continued to laugh. Everyone giggled and laughed at that one. It was so fun to see everything was going to be fine. I was enjoying my dinner and feeling all the fun everyone was having. “I might come out there and see the two of you someday Maxine,” said her other sister. “I bet you will, the place is great!” said mom. “You won’t get me out there,” said her brother. “I like it right here where there’s plenty of open land. “There’s a lot of open land in California too, Ron. You can live in any part of the desert areas you want,” said mom, as she laughed and so did everyone else. It was a funny thing, it seemed as though it was hard for everyone to believe that California even existed. I think mom sensed the same thing and politely said that California was a wonderful place and it was where she was going to live for the rest of her life. Oh boy, I thought, this is my big dream come true, I was truly elated. That whole evening I sat there and thought about being at the big blue ocean. Life was good and I was in bliss. After about a week of long goodbyes and all the formalities, mom and I finally left the farm and headed for California. My little self was so excited and so I slept most of the way. Sleeping was my way of enjoying the best part of my life. All I did was dream of the big ocean I would be living at and all the fun I would be having. For some reason, my dreams came very easily to me. I would tell mom about my dreams, but she didn’t seem to be very interested in what I had to share. She was mainly in her own worlds, which I was not really sure where they were, because I never really saw her in my dream worlds. I tried to make my dream experiences sound interesting and exciting, but I could tell that she was only being kind when she would smile and say... “Sure honey, that’s nice,” or something along the same idea. Was it that I was only four years old and almost five and unable to tell a good story? I began to wonder at some point, what I had gotten myself into by having this person as my mother. I knew there was a reason I was having my dream experiences, but as of yet I didn’t know why. I always had the urge to talk about them and share the beauty I was seeing. The thought crossed my mind that she might be an alien, but, at the time I really didn’t know what aliens were, since I was too young. My guess was that she didn’t know how to dream yet. Me, on the other hand, I knew the great value of dreaming. It really didn’t matter to me if she didn’t know anything about dreaming. My only intent right now was for her to drive me to California. As we were driving along I seemed to become a little older and wiser about what was going on, and so I decided to get a few things settled before we went any further on our journey. The first idea I wanted to clear up was about my dad. “Mom, what is my dad’s name?” I asked, and as I did boy did I get it! “I do not want you to ever mention his name again! You are not to speak of him, is that clear?” she said very sternly and abrupt. I was suddenly totally tongue-tied, I really was! Well, holy smackers, I thought, this is a wild scene! She did not even answer my question at all. A boy needs to know his dad’s name, I knew that already. Besides, how could I mention his name, which I didn’t, when I don’t even know what his name is? I sat and stared straight up out the windshield, looking up at the big blue sky in front of us. I was wondering if I would ever know his name. It’s like come on, give the little guy a break and just tell me his name. That was me thinking, but I wasn’t going to say it out loud. When you are very young things are strange if you are not happy. I wanted to be happy and make things okay with mom, so I just pretended that it was all in fun. “Okay, mom, I won’t ask again,” I said, against my will and a little forlorn, but still okay with it. What’s with her, I thought to myself. Dad and she were not married that long, and now she wants to forget him entirely? Then I wondered if other kids had mothers that got rid of their dads. The whole idea made me pay more attention to the people I saw with kids. I was now looking for mothers and their children only, thinking their dad was lost somewhere with no name. It was all a funny notion that I soon forgot. Mom sometimes pointed to different things as we drove along and tell me what her ideas were. I liked to hear her explain where we were and what we were seeing. Sometimes I wondered if she was just making things up, because I was the little guy. At some point, she said we were more than halfway to California. Great, I thought, we only have halfway to go. So many of the places we were passing through were really nice. It was summertime and the living was easy, for me anyhow. As we were driving, I decided to go back to my secret spot in my dreams and forget the outer scenery. Right now, I wanted to live for my own dreams. All the things that took place in my everyday outer life always took a lot of effort, but my dreams were effortless. So, I sat back and went right to sleep. All of a sudden, I was on my dream beach again with the sun shining overhead and the fresh smell of the ocean breeze gently moving about. I was a little bigger now and so I decided to just lie back on the sand and watch the birds that were flying in the sky. As I watched them, I began to think about flying just like them. They were so beautiful to watch as they gently glided through the air, and made their casual way along the wide-openness. They seemed so effortless as they flew back and forth, sailing so smoothly on the wind. I could see they were having so much fun. To me, watching birds fly is such a magical thing. These birds were so graceful and calm as they flew higher and higher with the gentle movement of their wings. As I watched, I was thinking how nice it would be to fly like them. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world. Life was supporting them as they were gliding along on the invisible currents that sustained them. I could tell that everything in their life is already taken care of. They lived in the position of being self-sufficient. I wanted to be just like them, free and easy. If I could fly like them, I thought, I would live at the big ocean of my dreams all the time, actually where I am now. As I watched them soar, I could feel myself flying with them. suddenly became a stranger on the wind with these great birds in flight. This entire place was as magical as watching these birds fly. I had the sense that there was so much more to this place than I now understood. Laying back and watching the sky, I began to imagine something wonderful occurring. At first, I didn’t know what, but then suddenly a shadow of a man appeared in my view of the sun. I didn’t know what to think as he stood over me with the sun light shining all about him, and again I could not see him clearly. “Hello Duane,” he said, as he stood there all aglow. “I can see you like it here.” I stood up immediately so that I could see him better. “Yes sir, this place is great!” I said, wondering who he was, as a feeling of something was coming over me. I stared at him and wondered who he was. Do you have any idea where we are, sir?” I asked. He laughed briefly and said, “You are somewhere and everywhere.” At first, I didn’t have a single word that came to mind to reply to him. What did he say? “Really?” I said, as I seemed to blurt out a reply. That’s all I could think of. I don’t know if it made sense or not. He looked at me and smiled, and then said, “This place is known as The Second Level, the first heaven of man.” Okay, I thought...What does that mean? “You are from the earth, Duane. The earth and all the worlds in the physical realm are the first level, or the solid life. In this world you are not as solid. Let me show you,” he said, as he began to rise above the ground, and then stopped about ten feet up in the air. “Wow!” I said out loud. “I knew this place was magical.” “It’s even more than that, young friend,” he said as he came slowly back down to the ground. “Would you like to fly like those birds?” he asked, as he motioned to the sky with his graceful mannerism. I hesitated for a moment as he stood there waiting for my answer. It was almost hard for me to understand what was taking place at this very moment. Here I was in this strange world that was so simple, yet hidden from my view was something very unexplainable. This hidden something was continuous without limits. This great being stood in a beautiful silence with the utmost patience as I considered what he was asking me. “Yes sir, I would,” I said, as I felt the soft breeze touching my face and blowing across the glistening ocean. “Just do it,” he said as he once again left the ground and went very high up into the sky. I looked straight up at him and felt a wonderful feeling surge through myself. Mom had read me the story of Peter Pan, the boy who could fly, which I always dreamed about. At that very moment I knew that I was Peter Pan, and that I could fly. “Here I come,” I said, as I leaped from the ground and suddenly found myself flying straight up. “I am doing it, I really am,” I said, as I joined him in the air. He laughed faintly and then motioned for me to follow him. He led me around the huge island where we met, explaining what this place was all about. “Look at the formation of the land and how it meets the sea from so many sides,” he said, as he pointed all around. “This is a really great place, sir,” I said, as I flew along beside him. “You will come to know this place better as you get older Duane,” he said, as we flew. I didn’t know what he meant, so I just went along with what he said. I was mainly interested in everything around me,as I looked far and wide. I could see in all directions, and as far as I wanted to see. I could see way out to sea and then down along the shoreline and back into the jungle areas that covered so much of the land. I was just about to ask him his name when, all of a sudden I heard a loud noise. It was a siren from a police car bringing me back to my body in the car with my mom. Poof, I was back! SCENE FIVE I immediately popped back into my outer life from my wonderful experience with my dream world. When I became aware of the surroundings again, momma was talking with some tall man in a uniform. What is going on? I thought, as I was trying to wake up. Then, I heard the man say, “Did you know you were going thirty miles an hour over the speed limit, young lady?” Mom looked over at me with a little smile on her face, and then looked up at the policeman, who was standing very rigidly next to the car. “Oh boy Officer, I couldn’t have possibly been driving that fast in this car. My legs can barely reach the pedals,” she said in a real sweet voice that I really had never heard before. “Young lady,” remarked the officer rather firmly, “I was right behind you for the last five miles, and at times, you were going even faster.” “Really officer?” said mom, very politely as she slowly got out of the car and closed the door behind her. I watched as she walked around the car. Momma bent over and began to look 39) over the car very closely, rubbing her hands on it, walking back and forth as though she were looking to see if there were any flaws in the paint. I thought it was kind of funny the way she was acting, but what did I know. She was mom and she is bigger than me. I figured that everything was the way that it should be. “Miss, are you okay?” asked the Officer, as he watched her go through her motions. “Of course I am sir,” she said, as she stood upright. “I just find it hard to believe that this car could have gone that fast without the paint coming off.” The Policeman began to laugh and laugh. Actually, he laughed for several moments. His whole mannerism changed and he became very relaxed. “You are too much young lady. I am just going to give you a warning this time. You and your son have a good day,” he said as he walked back to his car. Then he turned and said, “I will say one thing, young lady, you sure have courage, you just made my day.” And with that, he tipped his hat and was on his way. This was a funny time in my life and I really didn’t understand what was taking place, but later on I would when I grew older. I would reflect back to that moment and other ones like it. It wasn’t so much that mom got out of the ticket, but that she showed real bravery in the face of danger. That’s how I looked at the incident when I began to understand better. And then off we went, speeding down the road again. It seemed to me that she was driving even faster than she did before. She seemed to know what she was doing, being her own style of RiskTaker. As we were traveling through the various towns and cities, mom was telling me about what she had been doing while she was in California. She said she liked going to the beach and swimming in the ocean the best. She said she met a lot of new friends that liked to have fun and play at the beach. “You swam in the ocean mom?” I asked, rather excited, looking at her with a big grin on my face and wanting to hear more. “I sure did sweetie, it was great. The water was cold at times, but what a thrill,” she said, looking at me with a youthful grin. My mom was rather a hot momma. She was in her twenties and seemed to handle herself quite well. I didn’t realize it then, but not many people would venture from their established home in those days, like the farm, and head out for a new life. She was quite the gal. She also told me about the new man she had met. I didn’t understand everything, because I had no experience in that area. I was still wondering what my dad’s name was. Late one afternoon we stopped at a place to rest and stayed the night. We seemed to be out in the boonies somewhere, as much as I could tell. You know, one of those strange places that you would see in some low rated movie. Mom parked in front of an old-looking place, a roadside motel with a real bad paint job. The colors were a faded red and orange. I could tell that she was very tired from all the driving she had done and wanted to stop and rest. She said there was no other place for miles and this place would have to do. It didn’t matter to me, because I could sleep anywhere and anytime. “Duane, I want to just get in the shower and fall asleep,” she said, as we both got out of the car. Mom never mentioned the name of the place that we stopped at. I wouldn’t have known where we were anyhow. At my age, I really knew nothing. The place did seem a little strange, but I was too young to really care. I followed her as we got out of the car and walked over to the rickety looking steps that led up to the office. As we were walking up the steps, one of them broke and mom almost fell through. “This place needs a lot of work sweetie, let’s see if it will hold together for at least one more night,” said mom, as she laughed out loud. I liked to hear her laugh, so I laughed with her. She didn’t seem too happy with the place, even though she was chuckling to herself. We walked into the office and at first there was no one there. The place looked really old and run-down. There were some real strange pictures on the wall with scenes that were really old and moody. Some of them were portraits of old people who looked like they were ready to croak, or who did croak and were still standing to get their portraits painted. I could see dust on everything, and the place even smelled old and musty. Mom went over to the counter where there was a bell you hit to get someone’s attention. Just as she was about to hit the bell, a man came slowly out from a back room. I was a little surprised at first, because of the silent way he entered and moved to the front desk. He was really old and could hardly walk. He didn’t even seem to have the strength to smile. He walked up to the front counter without saying a word as though he were dragging himself along. It took him a few moments to get there, and then he put his hands on the counter to hold himself up. He still didn’t say anything as he slowly looked at both of us. There was a long pause while he stood there being strange. I started laughing rather loudly, I really couldn’t help myself. Mom quickly turned around and looked at me with that look parents give you when they want you to be quiet, as she smiled and softly said, “Shush!” I put my hand over my mouth to try and stop myself from laughing, but it was hard. Finally, the man spoke. “What’s so funny youngster?” he asked in his old scratchy voice, which sounded like the ending of a real scary movie. Then, I really started to laugh as I could feel my legs turn to rubber. Mom grabbed me and shook me a little and said, “That’s enough.” She looked at me closely and gave me a funny stare. I could tell that she was smiling too and trying not to laugh. Then, she turned around and faced the old man, who was trying to maintain his balance by holding tightly onto the counter. “We would like a room for the night sir,” she said very politely. “It will cost you six dollars Miss,” said the man, in a low and uninteresting tone. “The rate is five dollars for you and one dollar for your son.” “That will be fine sir,” said mom. “We only want to stay one night.” Mom reached into her purse and handed the man the money. He gave her the key to the room and pointed in the direction to where we were to go. I could tell that he was definitely not going to leave the counter by the way he was holding on to it. Mom and I walked outside and found the room. When we got there, mom put the key into the door, but the door wouldn’t open. She tried several times, and then became a little frustrated. “Maybe this is his car key and not the room key,” she said, looking at me as she laughed. I shrugged my shoulders as she continued to try. Heck, what did I know? After several attempts, she was done. “I’ll be right back sweetie,” she said, as I watched her walk back to the office. While she was gone, I stood back a little and took a good look at the place, it was kind of creepy. I was too young to have any real judgment or voice my opinion. I really couldn’t see anything that I did like as I scanned the entire surroundings. It was just all too strange. The sun was going down and it was getting dark very quickly. There weren’t any lights on the outside of the place; at least from what I could see. The only lights were those of the cars that passed by on the road. Mom was taking her time and I was feeling weird about this spooky place. I was thinking that maybe I would just sleep in the car and then mom came walking back. “That old man is too much, I think he went through his whole house looking for this key,” she said, as she put the key into the doorknob and it finally opened with a good push. A bit of dust flew about as mom shoved the door all the way open. We entered the gloomy and musty-smelling room. It was really dark inside. There were thick dull looking curtains covering the windows that you couldn’t see through. It was almost dark and we could hardly see a thing. Mom felt around the wall for the light switch and finally found it. When she turned the lights on and saw the room she jokingly said, “Maybe I’ll just leave the lights off.” We both laughed and slowly walked into the room. The room had dark wallpaper that was old and faded and torn in spots. There were also similar pictures on the wall just like that in the office. They were hanging crooked on the wall and had dust all over them. The pictures were of people who were definitely not going to heaven. I wanted to touch one to see if I could straighten it up, but then I thought, I had better not, just in case it fell, then I would be in trouble with the big noisy guy. There were two little beds in the room that had top covers, red and worn looking. Actually, the beds looked okay compared to the rest of the place. Mom put down the few things she had and went directly for the bed. I had slept so much of the time while she was driving that I wasn’t at all tired. She, on the other hand, fell right to sleep. I sat on my bed for a moment and watched her doze off. Sleep to me, was the greatest experience, but I had done my share for the day and now it was time to move around. Little kids like me like to explore when their parents are not looking, and best of all asleep. I began wondering in my little mind what to do, because I had been in the car all day doing nothing. There was no television in the room, and as I looked around, I could see everything was really used and ancient. There was absolutely nothing to play with. The place reminded me of a big closet. I didn’t want to go to sleep yet, because it was early and I knew that I could sleep in the car tomorrow, for the entire day. Sleep all day, sleep all night, life was good, but I wasn’t tired yet. So, what do little boys do when there is nothing to do? They go out and explore, and that’s just what I did. I looked over at mom as she was now sound asleep, so I softly got off the bed, crept over to the door and slowly opened it. I was trying to be as quiet as possible, but the door creaked and moaned as I pulled it open. I quickly looked back at mom to see if it woke her. Not at all, since she was actually snoring rather loudly. Okay, I thought, she should be fine, so I slowly went out the door. I decided to leave it open just a little bit, because I knew I would have to get back in later. It still looked like it was closed, that’s all that mattered. Standing at the door and looking outside, I began to realize that it was really dark out. So dark at first that I could not see anything in front of me. Once in a while a car would pass by on the road with a little light, but they were so fast I still couldn’t see anything. For a moment I hesitated, wondering if I should explore at all. After pondering for a few moments, I decided that I would, because I didn’t want to go back in the room and just watch mom sleep. I slowly walked along the outside, touching the building wall as I went, feeling my way in the dark. I was taking my time so that my eyes would adjust to the night. Finally, when I could see a little, I noticed the moon was coming up. It wasn’t a full moon, but it was shining just enough light to help me out. I was thinking to myself, maybe the big guy isn’t so bad after all. I had a feeling that if he owned the earth, the moon must be his too. I walked around the side of the building toward the backside of the office. I wanted to stay near the building just in case there was something I might stumble over in the dark. I slowly crept along, trying to listen for strange noises, but there was only silence. I imagined that a place that looked like this would have something odd or weird hanging around it, especially at night. I didn’t seem to be afraid, because I wanted the experience of the adventure. I was more curious than concerned about
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 07:32:47 +0000
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