Pope Benedict HOLY SEE – In a shocking press conference Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI revealed to the world that he will be stepping down from the Catholic Church’s highest office. “Through prayer and reflection over the past years,” the world’s holiest man began, “I’ve realized that Allah is the one true God.” Amid clattering camera shutters and roaring reporters, Pope Benedict patiently answered questions, citing traditional Muslim folklore as well as passages from the Qur’an to explain his decision. His session was interrupted only once, whenhe swiveled South-East to face Mecca, stooped to the ground, and recited the Asr, one of the five daily prayers central to Muslim belief. The startling reversal comes as a shock to many familiar with the Pope’s policies on Islam. “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and thereyou will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached,” the Bishop of the Vatican famously said of Islam in his 2006 lectureFaith, Reason and the University—Memories and Reflections. When asked about the quote, Pope Benedict sighed with good-humored remorse and chuckled quietly to himself: “Yeah I’ve regretted that for some time. But I was young and naïve… I see things much clearer now. Besides, I’ve always kinda liked the thought of having a sword. The Cardinals were a real pain on that one.” When asked whether he would be reverting to his born name, Pope Benedict enthusiastically interjected. “I’ve decided to change my name to Sajjad SayyidRatzinger,” His Ex-Holiness explained. “I’m keeping my surname purely for logistical reasons, so my Facebook friends and Twitter followers won’t be confused.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Aug 2013 23:38:08 +0000
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