Post 61. (Careema) Raeesah, phone...its your father I shouted. Im coming... I quickly pack the last of the corn and cheese samoosas into their individual packages, and hand them to Gladys, who closes them and places the car dealership stickers on it. Oh, Gladys is my new assistant chef! Lol :D Ive actually had to hire fulltime help for Cs Cuisine. Today, theres a car dealership having some sort of an open day, and they want to give little goodie bags to potential customers who come in to test drive their cars. Even though, Ive not done anything like this before, I decided to accept the challenge. So, we made samoosas, and springrolls, which we put into packets, and sealed with stickers that had the dealership info and logo. Then we got bumper stickers, and small car keyrings, and a pen. We put all this into small boxes. So anyways, when I got back from the delivery, this happened... Mummy, we kinda need to talk to you. Raeesah began. But its totally cool if you say No coz of like everything, well understand Amarah interrupted. Ok, one at a time, whats going on? Well, Raeesah said. You know when Daddy phoned earlier, he said that Ani has to go to Capetown for some family thing, and he doesnt want the babies to go with... And? I asked. Never mind, its a bad idea... Raeesah trailed off. No, tell me Amarah speaks now So, you know Daddy cant take care of kids, forget about babies, and his nanny is going on leave because of Christmas and all that, and he asked if maybe Ray and I would help him...for the weekend Raeesah speaks up again I mean, they are our brothers, and we dont know them at all, but I dont want to spend time with, with... Slutty-face Amarah says. Amarah! I exclaim. What? Its true she says in her usual candid manner. So, is it ok with you if we go, just for the weekend? I sit down, Im quite shocked to be honest. What do you 2 know about looking after babies? I ask them. Well, we told Daddy wed help out, but theres no way either one of us would be changing nappies. Itll be fun to see him try Ok, you right. They are your brothers. Im fine if you go...Just, you, watch your mouth I say to Amarah. She grins at me her cheeky I-dont-care grin. And so, thats how I find myself alone this weekend. Completely and totally alone. And I have no clue what to do! I decide to sort through the cupboards, and start in my bedroom. Theres still a few of Aslams clothes here. I decide to pack it all in a big bag and give it to him when he drops the girls off. Aslam and I were never meant to be anything more than co-parents. I go through to the bathroom and gather the last of his things from there too. Now hes out of my house and out of my life forever. Just then my sister Salma calls. Weve been slowly trying to rebuild our friendship, and so far weve made good progress. She hasnt been to visit me at home yet, so when she mentions that her kids are gone with her inlaws to Durban for holiday, and her hubs is gone for jamaat, so I decide to spontaneously invite her over for the weekend. Salma hesitantly agrees. I have plenty of food, as always these days. I go to the video store and borrow movies that we both enjoyed when we were younger, hoping that it will be a good ice breaker. When she gets here, she looks very impressed with the house, and a bit intimidated too. With her husband being an Islamic school teacher, he has a very modest salary. Wow, I didnt realise you lived in a mansion she says. I think Id put up with a cheater to have a house like this...Im, Im sorry...I didnt mean it like that. Maybe I shouldnt have come No, its ok I say. I know it was hard for you when I left... You dont know the half of it, C! Mummy and daddy cried for weeks. I almost failed my final year of studies, but just managed to pass. When proposals started coming for me, mummy and daddy were ridiculous. When it was my wedding, all the aunties were whispering about you. It was horrible. If you had been there, it would have been about you, even though you werent there, it was still about you... Everything was always about you! I dont know what to say, but I do know that she needed to let me know how I hurt her if we were ever to start again. I realised that Ive been selfish, wanting forgiveness without knowing the full extent of the damage Ive caused. The worst was when Sadeks Zaheera was born. I think she and you Raeesah are just 3 months apart. Even though we were all so happy, there was this blackness hanging over us, missing you, wondering about you, not knowing your children. There wasnt any happy occasion for the family. Every single time you were missing, always missing... I thought I was prepared for this, but never realised how deep it went. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing by staying away. I didnt want to spoil the family name or flaunt my shame to you. I realise that now... And I realise that I wasnt the best big sis either. I shouldve paid more attention. I shouldve asked about Aslam, I knew you had a crush on him, but I was so wrapped in my own life... I blamed myself for so long she said between tears. Its not your fault, Salma. Its not anyones fault...its just the way it happened...Im sorry, I dont know what more, or what else to say I almost whisper. Lets not talk anymore. Can we maybe, just, I dont know, maybe its silly, but can we do the things we used to when we were still young? Seeing as we both kids free, and dont have to explain ourselves to anyone Salma asks. Thats exactly my plan, I say, as I point to the stack of movies. Choose one, Ill get the ice cream. Wait Salma says. She walks up to me and gives me a tight hug. I feel the pain weve both had dissolve into the space between our hearts, and I feel the love explode in that same chasm. Forgiveness washes over us, and in that single moment that feels like forever, is a moment that brings 2 sisters back to where theyre supposed to be, side by side! We let go and smile at each other. Her eyes travel around the room now, and she says I really love your home. May Allah fill it with barakah! Mummy mentioned to me, that during your Iddah, she met some of your friends. They sound lovely, tell me about them... We get the ice cream, sit on the floor and talk. The movies can wait... Time to catch up with my sis! And that was the beginning of an epic weekend.We chatted late into the night,me telling her about my ladies,my pathetic marriage and filling in the details on Ani and the twins , how weird Aslam is now,she says just dont ever think of going back! She starts filling me on her life,about how mummy and daddy finally agreed to a guy good enough to marry,but how she knew him from campus,her in laws,her children. The next day I called Az to find out if she could get us last minute appointments with a spa for us,she came through for me and managed to score us a few vouchers,it was Salmas first time ever getting a massage and deep cleanse facials :D But now Salma has left and we really bonded this weekend, the girls are back and actually had a great time. Its like theyre actually bonding better now with their dad that his a part time father. Theres less expectations,so less disappointments to deal with...... All in all were headed in the right direction,and for the most part life is goooooooood!!!!!
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 08:13:42 +0000
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