RAISING SENSATIONAL KIDS sometimes requires some SENSATIONAL PATIENCE from parents! Here are some sensory-smart strategies to help connect with your child and teach them through gentle discipline and positive parenting. 1) RESPECT your child. They may be feeling/hearing/seeing the world differently from you. Don’t impose your own sensory preferences on your child. If haircuts hurt, respect that as true. If they don’t like to be covered in bed at night, don’t tuck them in. If jeans are described as crunchy, don’t say “no they’re not”, or “you’ll be fine”. Understand that the jeans are crunchy, like someone poured Doritos in your underwear! Work with them to find a mutually-agreeable wardrobe. If you assume an “I’m the parent and what I say goes” mentality, you are setting yourself up for many unnecessary battles. 2) LISTEN to your child. Sometimes we think we have all the answers. The truth is, THE KIDS have the answers! While they may not be able to articulate their needs with words, they certainly can tell us how they feel through their behaviors! If your child is tactile defensive, maybe they don’t want to put their coat on before leaving the restaurant. Or maybe the winter hat is really itchy on their head, which is why they keep taking it off. Don’t just react to a behavior that you perceive as being “bad”. Stay calm, step back, and think about what your child is really trying to tell you. 3) SAY YES. You’re late for school and he still wants to play. He wants a cookie, but you want him to finish his dinner. She wants to buy everything on the shelf at the checkout line, and you are already considering a second mortgage because groceries are so expensive. In any situation, don’t be so quick to say NO! Validate their needs, and say yes! YES, we can race home so you can play your video game after school. YES you can have a cookie after you finish your meal! YES you can have piece of gum from mommy’s purse so we don’t have to buy another pack. You can have a lot of fun and really connect with your child, while not “giving away the candy store” or letting your child do or get whatever they want. 4) SAFETY FIRST. NO THREATS. You will build a stronger connection with your sensory kid if you acknowledge how they feel at any given moment and make them feel safe and validated, not just yell orders at them. Have you ever told them to get their coat on, only to be ignored? Did you say it again, but louder? Yell it? Does this sound familiar: “if you don’t get you coat on, no (TV, toys, etc.). Making threats to force compliance does not change behavior in the long term. Walking up to your child, telling them you’re leaving soon, and asking them how many minutes they need (give them a choice…you pick the time frame) is a great way to work together to complete a task, without a battle. When the minutes are up, present them their coat. If you are only using words to make requests, you may be setting yourself up for some protests as you battle for control with your child. It takes practice and patience, but it ALWAYS works! Let’s all do our best to be sensational parents and teachers for our SENSATIONAL KIDS! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Greg Santucci, MS, OTR Executive Director Power Play Pediatric Therapy
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:21:13 +0000
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