RAW MOMENT: Many of you know that back in April, I began my journey to become a physique competitor. I had spent the three years before that losing 100 pounds, battling dysmorphia, tackling 5ks, 10ks, half marathons, and then FINALLY conquering a marathon, I became bored with what I was doing, and wanted to try something new. I was content with how I looked, but I wasnt happy about how I felt. So I decided that I would take on a fitness competition, and knew that it was going to be so much more than just a physical mountain to climb, but I guess I never knew the mental toll it was going to take on me. Every time I look in the mirror, I cant help but see the 305 pound 35% body fat Robb looking back at me. It feels awful. I just cant comprehend how, while Im working so hard every day, the scale continues to go up and up and up, and instead of looking like this amazing physique adonis, all I can see is the Stay Puft marshmallow man, with a sad yet evil look on his face as hes destroying New York City. Its a constant struggle, but I fight through every day, trusting the process, because I know that I cant quit. I cant give up. I have something to prove. I have to overcome my doubts, and my fears, to prove that ANYONE can achieve ANYTHING, as long as they REFUSE to quit. Ive now officially put on 48 pounds. Just writing that makes me want to break down and cry. I have 4 pairs of jeans that dont fit me anymore, and the only reason I have one pair that does is because I bought them with a waist size 4 inches larger than what Im used to. And thankfully, our move to Florida has facilitated the ability to wear shorts pretty much every day. I probably own 30 T Shirts/Tank Tops, and I can only fit into two of them. I wear them to the gym, and have to wash them every other day. I had a breakdown because Ive got a closet full of clothes, and cant fit into a single one. So let me shift gears, because if youre still reading this, I dont want to you think that this is me just publicly whining about the results of something which I decided to do. Your value is not in what you look like. Your value is not in the clothes you wear. Your value is not in the weight on your scale. Your value is not in the speed you can run a race. Your value is not in the distance you can run. Your value is not in the amount of weight you can squat, bench press, dead lift, or curl. Your value is in the lives that you change. Your value is in the example you set for others. Your value is in the CHOICE you make, every day, to move forward. Everything comes to choice. You are no greater or no worse than anyone else, unless you CHOOSE to be. You can allow challenges to get in your way and slow you down, or you can use them as PROOF to everyone in your life that they too, can achieve anything. So this is me, NOT giving up. This is me, telling you, to never give up.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:33:21 +0000
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