REGAINING TRUST Part 2: by Tinashe Maruta The Offended Someone that you have loved and trusted, has said/done something that has broken your faith in them. If this is the first time you have felt betrayal like this, you are in my prayers. The first time is the hardest. If you have felt betrayal before, please, do not let this make you lose hope in love. People make mistakes. That is one truth that everyone on this earth can agree with. Now, even though people make mistakes, does not mean that this mistake was accidental. You need to find out what happened. But before you do that, you need to accept what has happened. You have to accept that the image you had of this person is wrong; they are not perfect. No human is. By accepting what has happened you can accept the truth when you find it out. After gathering the truth of the whole situation, there are some questions you need to ask. Are you willing to take him/her back after what they did? If so, what has to be done for you to be satisfied? The last question is crucial, because after being hurt, our view on it might not be completely fair. We might seek out some form of vengeance, which is not what God wants for us. We should depend on God to enact fair Justice, not biased Vengeance. (Psalm 9:16) "The LORD is known for his justice. The wicked are trapped by their own deeds..." But if you feel that you cannot trust them enough to be in a relationship, then just make sure that you have let go of what they have done to you and move on. Lingering regret will only cause long term trouble for you and them. Forgiving them is a must. (2 Corinthians 2:10)"If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven--if there was anything to forgive--I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake" You must also work on forgiving the betrayal; for both the offender and yourself. Forgiving does not mean that you act as if the betrayal never happened, it just means taking away the negative feelings of that situation, and understanding that we all sin. It is not wise to easily forget wrong done to you, it could make you unaware of when it could happen again. (2 Corinthians 2:7)" Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." Excessive sorrow not only hinders the repairing process, but can also keep the negative feelings in your heart, which will affect how you handle situations. Before you continue, you should prayer that God shows you whether you should stay with this person. The thing that was done, could be a weakness in their character. Which means it will not be easy to erase. YOU are not the one to erase this weakness, only God and the offender can erase it. So make sure of your choice to continue the relationship. There need to be some guidelines in which you are comfortable with, which are fair to both you and your loved one. There also needs to be a way that can guarantee that the betrayal will not happen again. This is where you watch the actions, rather than listen to the words. Be fair in all of your choices. Two wrongs do not make a right. In the end, if he/she has shown in their actions, that they regret their choice which hurt you and have changed so that it will not happen again, they have proven themselves to be given your trust. You should not give your trust all at once ( which seems easy to do) but gradually. Loving someone is a risk if you do not trust them. Trust is paramount in a relationship.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 22:08:39 +0000
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