SQUARE PEG IN A ROUND HOLE is my personal story about when coming out and being true to oneself was dangerous, difficult, and demeaning . I hope that my saga will help younger folks to understand why their parents and elders took the road they did (or didnt) ... while empowering those of us of the boomer generation to remember the different world and times in which we came to grips with uncloaking the trappings locked so tightly in our own closets. ####################### Yep. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Before losing her meal ticket, Amanda determined to keep our marriage alive with final, desperate measures. Wearing nothing under her long, leather jacket, she showed up unannounced at my condo literally dressed to kill. A black widow spider to the fly? When that didn’t work, she made an appointment to have her hair cut by Stephen, whom I’d been with only once and hadn’t seen in many months. I have no idea how she found out about him, but assuming he was her rival, she wanted to assess the competition. She told him that I was married and that he couldn’t have me because I belonged to her. Poor Stephen. He probably didn’t even remember me, but had to contend with a bat out of hell. Next, she made phone calls and more personal visits. She told her parents about my problem, which now had become hers. Amanda made an appointment to meet with Andrew, the priest who had married us. He called me the next morning to ask if we could have lunch. “Bruce, there’s one important difference between your two weddings,” was Andrew’s position about the sanctity of marriage. “You weren’t a Christian when you wed Barbara, but you were with Amanda. Jesus, himself, was there as a witness to your vows.” To appease Andrew—not Amanda—I agreed to one last stab at marriage counseling, at the offices of a respected Christian clinic. After ten sessions, they concluded we were incompatible and agreed about the logic of ending our marriage. “How can you call yourselves Christians and yet approve of divorce?” Amanda challenged them. “Doesn’t the Bible say God hates divorce: ‘What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder?’ Didn’t Jesus morally condemn it as wrong? Divorce is a sin, and I can’t believe I’m sitting here and listening to you condone it.” “Divorce isn’t acceptable under most ordinary circumstances,” they answered her. “Marriage was blessed by God because it can reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. But, sometimes, we take the wrong partner or marry for the wrong reasons. God wants what’s best for us. In some cases, that means we’re better off apart.” My spirit lifted, I took their words as gospel and took steps to finalize our separation. I filed divorce papers, listed the condo for rent or sale, and informed Amanda that I was moving back into my house. https://facebook/BoomerComingOutStory
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 12:28:14 +0000