Self Pity Blog: 1.9: Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house I found myself snarling, having been dumped by my spouse The children were nestled, all snug with their screens The ear-buds implanted to drown out my screams. The dog lay out shivering, alone on the porch My car was diagonal, having backed into the ditch. The stockings were hung, and all that shit was done And I had just settled in, to sample the rum. When out in the dooryard, arose such squealer I knew right away it was the plow-guy… on weed and tequila. He said not a word, but went straight to his work. I stood there watching, like some big, useless jerk. And then in the gleam of his headlights, on the new fallen snow All the shit on my lawn, made quite the tableau. He smacked into the statue, and tore up the lilacs, Ground his wheels in the lawn, for the ultimate climax. That’s when I heard it, as clear as a bell As bam, he decapitated the head of my well. That’s when I knew that Christmas was here And this was the end of the shittiest year. Though he flipped me the bird, as he drove out of sight I knew nothing could stop, the return of the light.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 14:45:29 +0000