She spent Sunday packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On Monday, the movers came and collected her things. On Tuesday, she sat down by candlelight at their beautiful dining room table for the last time, put on some soft jazz, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of fine sauvignon blanc. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen, called a cab, and left. When her ex-husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything. They cleaned; they scrubbed; they steam cleaned; they aired it out; they sprayed; they looked for dead animals in the basement, attic, and vents—nothing worked. They even replaced all the carpeting, to no avail. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. One day, the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was a fraction of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home. And just to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 16:48:44 +0000
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