She stood naked for a long time, angry at the reflection / a picture in colors of shame, imperfections married to guilt / those hips! Why cant they be slender? Why the ugly pale lumps, the wasteland, the excess, places where lovers would not be allowed to look/ if she grabbed at the fat roll, she could squeeze till it flattened, she imagined slicing it off/ disgusting , she thought, so ugly and worthless/ her eyes moved slowly, across a belly that isnt flat, up to her breasts, they caught the last golden ray of sun, reflected back in creamy gold, small, soft, and full, with tiny round pink nipples, erect in the cool bedroom air...how could she ever let someone kiss them? Would anyone want to touch her naked skin with their hands, and their tongue, the way shed seen in private movies? She hated them, hanging there, too much to hide, too little to get attention / her face, angry, boiling with hate/ stared back from the mirror, screamed, shouted at her/ she grabbed the fat on her belly, tore at the delicate flesh, dug her fingernails as deep as she could into her hips, hating the heat of her body, wishing desperately for thinness, dying from starvation /love she couldnt feel/ in the orange light from the setting sun she finally slipped free/ from the charges the world weighed against her, escaped the pressure for perfection, felt the effort die, clung to the note in her left hand, the blade in her right. Free now, the Venus emerged, in the tongue sounds of mourners, lamenting the loss, crowding around the casket, holding plates of cakes and food, and a little girl watched them, from beneath her aunts arm, clung to her fur coat, and a silent alarm/sounded inside...she wasnt thin herself, she wouldnt be loved, either
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 03:56:24 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015