So Im sitting here just broken hearted!!!! I spent some time on the phone last with a friend who was going through it with her man... My opinion of him... SLICE OFF THE BELLY AND FEED HIM TO THE HOGS!!!! She cried and cried he cheats he doesnt come home he hits her he has weird numbers... The lis goes on and on. Now I am a very understanding friend... TO A POINT!!! This is a every couple ofbweek thing!!! So I just listen and leav it at that. But after almost 2 hours I couldnt take it so I told her... Girl you cant seem to get it together so you better go ahead and get help!!! She said I dont have the money to go to a counselor and I said girl you need the LORD!!! She kinda laughed and said you dont believe all that bullshit, REALLY !!!! She said she never wouldve thought I was that weak minded!!! With everything I have gone through how could I honestly believe in something that allowed these things to happen to me. I just sat there with no words my heart breaking and tears on my face. I have a faith that has and will move mountains!!! But it does no good if that faith cant be seen!!! I just assumed that it was obvious...but I guess not!!! So I sucked it up and told her in a way that freaked me out!!!! I said there is no doubt HE IS VERY MUCH REAL!!! I told her everything that has happened to me, from feeling lost anand alone, bad marriages, my daughter dying... Everything!!!! Every thing that had happened proves there is a God he is very real and he aint got no time to put with my dumb shit!!! He allows things to happen so that we will realize how small we are how huge he is and hopefully turn to him. I told her how the hell you think I am able to deal with everything??? That strength didnt show up one day, its a gift and i was given to me because of the faith I didnt know I had. The size a mustard seed is where it started. I made the choices I made cuz I knew it all and I was in control!!! I was never so wrong!!! Sh asked about my daughter dying and without any anger I said she was only here on loan, she was not mine but a precious gift that belonged to him. Does it hurt, yes lik nothng else an once again proof he is real!!! Thats something you CAN NOT DO ALONE!!! she said but why you why your daughter??? I said why not me??? Why am I any better than the next!!! I hd to clean myself out to make more room for him. Its called the decrease, increase move!!! The minute I told God if you can get me off my knees in that hospital room when she died we would chat!!! I got up an was able to take tht next breath and since then w have been lke peanut butter and jelly!!! It took these things to happen to make me shine. And by shine I mean his light is always on me !!! So if my life is not proof he is real... Apply the decrease increase method!!! It breaks my heart to think that for whatever reason she cant see my faith!!! She cant see the Lords masterpiece... Me!!!! I reminded her that it was cool if she no longer thought of me as being cool but my God thinks Im to die for!!! She got real short with me basicly no longer wanted to hear what I was saying which made me mad as hell so I told her I realize why she wasnt able to see all th things I could see.... Because her head was to far up hr own ass to see anything other than her own self pitty!!! Im not perfect... Im sure I could have said humble yourself to him but it was to late it just flew out!!! Now usually this conversation would have drained me but afterwards it just broke my heart. But once again proof my God is real.... The craving for peanut butter and jelly was so strong I ate 2 !!! Yep hes real!!! I felt bad cuz I wanted to smack her but once again The Lord reminded me he forgives me and reminded I shold be proud of the fact that I didnt!!!! Once again.... PROOF!!!!
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 22:22:55 +0000