THOSE 3 NASTY WORDS I found it difficult saying I love you to my boyfriend. I would always hold my breath if I thought he was about to say those 3 nasty words. I just didn’t believe in those words anymore. I had been hurt to many times and there was no way I was going to give my boyfriend the power to hurt me like all my previous boyfriends. I had chosen that ‘I love you’ meant I was exposing myself to be hurt rather than its true meaning of ‘I really really care about you’. In choosing my interpretation of I love you, I was depriving myself of an extraordinary relationship. I was dragging the experience of my past into my future and this was tearing us apart day by day without even consciously knowing I was doing so. I had to make a decision. I had to make it fast. I had to change my mindset and I had to change it now. So I said it. I LOVE YOU. My body knotted up as I said those words out loud. They still felt like dirty words to me. It seemed that nothing had changed inside of me but what in actual fact had happened was that my mindset had changed. I was determined to not let my past dictate my present. After all, the growth of my relationship is at stake. A beautiful, handsome, kind and loving man is giving me his life and I am stuck over the words ‘I love you’. Really? The relationship I had to the phrase I love youp was changing. I was choosing to accept again that I love you means I really really care for you. What is possible for me now is that I can now have an extraordinary relationship with my boyfriend in a way I had never thought possible and never could have imagined. I learnt that I could either continue to choose to see my boyfriend through the glasses of my past: with suspicion, mistrust and waiting for him to fail so that I am justified with my interpretation of I love you. Or I can choose to see him for who he truly is: my present, my future, my hope, my love and my joy. What do you think?
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 01:16:44 +0000
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