Taking time to savor the flavor profiles of chaos and joy. There is a lot to taste in the day to day rhythms of being alive and really feeling whatever is here without much need to understand. In my mind there are lines and boundaries but when I look again its pretty clear they are not real, they have no shape beyond inner projections driven by the need to understand. There isnt an inside me and outside me. There are no lines here at all, theres just undivided being that is intimate with everything I see. In this way I remain shapeless and unrecognizable in any definitive way except by fleeting impressions and the direct experience of the environment of any given moment. Its like living free in the wild, no matter where I am. Presence is wild, instinctive and untamed to the core. Every moment is the most sensitive improv, great sadness comes over me and I am invited to join in and play. Tremendous joy sweeps under me and I am invited to fall inside of it and lose myself completely. There are no safe spaces to hide from anything that happens and thats horrifying and exhilarating at once. I feel I may explode being on the ground of life like this, its very dangerous. I feel I am living dangerously all the time but not in a bad way, in the way of animals- confident, responsive, sometimes even fearfully uncertain, but I am alive. I live on the ground of my environment even though its full of unpredictable situations to engage with. And here is the roar not from mouth but from my heart. Whatever it is I am, I feed ravenously on every unpredictable moment, both great tensions and great satisfactions make excellent meals on the ground of life.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 17:58:49 +0000
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