Thank you all for the countless phone calls, messages, texts and emails. I never again will think to myself when someone experiences a loss oh, they are busy I dont want to bother them because even if it took a week for me to reply to some - I read each one and each one helped the tears fall and helped me get through this week. I want to share with you an email I received. My mom loved our administrator Mark - that isnt why Im sharing it, but wanted to add that. Just hours before she died she was on facebook telling him he was missed :) Hi Kim I wasnt able to make it to Tilden for your mom’s funeral. Of course by now, many people have naturally offered their sympathy as do I. If I were there and in some funerals I have gone to, the Priest will ask if some people would like to say a few words at the Alter. This is what I would have said: It is a sad event. Your mother was too young. We wish the world would stop and the cars would stop racing by and the phones would stop ringing, because your mother has died…unfortunately that doesn’t happen and the world doesn’t stop for us as much as we’d like it to. I have no doubt that your family, colleagues and friends are helping you mourn through this process, as I do for you as well. Of course, we all were wishing the best for your mom while GL care givers provided her care. Her time coming in my office, doodling around and having conversations about many things were fun and interesting. As you are aware, my mother passed as an infant. I can tell you I never understood/experienced the concept of a mothers love and the importance of the role the mother plays in the family dynamics. I learned this by watching my wife and specifically, the matriarch of my wife’s family – my mother in law. All things revolve around her for family events, advice, conversation about the day, celebrations events, holidays and making plans for other future events. I have no doubt your mother did the same – as the Matriarch goes, so goes the family. The void is now left to you to fill. The torch has been passed to you. You are now the Matriarch of the family and I’m sure you were taught well. You will now be the center piece of the family and the family will look to you for all those things your mother did. You will plan the family events, offer advice, talk to your family about the days past, plan celebrations events, holidays and make plans for future events. I have no doubt you are ready to accept this role in its entirety. Perhaps over the past several months you have transitioned unknowingly in this role. All the best Kim…Steady yourself…You are the Matriarch.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 00:09:24 +0000
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