The Meeting Of The CAMEREGG Duo! By DARRYL ASHTON (There now follows a meeting between Britain’s Prime Minister, and Deputy Prime Minister, David Cameron, and Nick Clegg. Regarding Britain’s economy and the new TAX reforms?). Mr Cameron: Good morning. It’s nice to be with you again. Mr Clegg: Yes, it is, and in a packed programme this morning, we will tell you about the new “simplified” tax form. Mr Cameron: It asks how much you earned last year, what you have left over, and tells you how to send it to No 11 Downing Street… Mr Clegg:…Or else? Mr Cameron: Mr Osborne. “chancellor”, at No 11 thinks money grows on trees… Mr Clegg: Is that why he keeps going to the International money tree fund? Mr Cameron: Yes, it is. We also have big plans to get the country back on its feet…with current taxes you will have to work. Mr Clegg: A bit like us, MPs? Mr Cameron: Don’t be bloody silly…since when did we, MPs, last work for a living? Except when it comes to elections – and we gather in large groups and go and annoy the local people? Mr Clegg: Oh, now I get it…I’ve seen the light, now? Mr Cameron: What bloody light? Mr Clegg: That light that so magically appears at the end of the tunnel? Mr Cameron: You stupid boy! Mr Clegg: We have just had a fax from the Cayman Islands. The chancellor says: the pound is safe in his hands… Mr Cameron: I bet it is…he’s most probably on a bleedin’ shopping frenzy with his goldfish credit card? Bloody Cayman Islands – there sounds like there’s plenty of sharks out there? Mr Clegg: Oh, here’s hoping!!!! Mr Cameron:…It’s just closed six points behind the Merigold Gumbo Bean… Mr Clegg: We will advise people how to advise people, how to finish up with a small business…just before going bust? Because we keep hiking up their business taxes? Mr Cameron: Shut-it, will you? We don’t want all the world to know how we treat our so-called; respected small business’s, do you? Mr Clegg: Respect? What’s that, mean? Mr Cameron: Exactly!!!! The only respect we have is when we’re claiming for our dodgy expenses? But it has to be done, hasn’t it? Mr Clegg: Oh, yes, Prime Minister? Keep it in the family, so-to-speak? Mr Cameron: Now, then, you’re getting the idea? You may even make Prime Minister one fine day? Mr Clegg: Oh, goody, I like play-time?! Mr Cameron: Start at the bottom, and move up the ladder? Mr Clegg: What, like you, you mean? Mr Cameron: Shut-up’ and listen, we have to promise that people over 70 will no longer need to buy that thing called; a TV licence…as long as they are accompanied by their Grandparents. Mr Clegg: But our promisies don’t mean a bloody damn thing? We just promise the earth – but give them nowt – once we get in? Simple?! Mr Cameron: Yes, Yes, Yes, we know that, but it is known as spinning – the people will be none the wiser… Mr Clegg: HaHaHaHa!!!! You mean like us? Mr Cameron: We will reduce unemployment at a stroke…by raising the school leaving age to 65! Mr Clegg: The Education Secretary says: most children can’t spell after oil. Mr Cameron: It’s “AFTER (BLOODY) ALL! And 65 per cent cannot add up, 35 per cent cannot subtract, 15 per cent cannot divide, and the remaining 20 per cent have trouble with percentages… Mr Clegg: A bit like Ole Dubya, perhaps? That Texo ‘oil-mad Texan? Mr Cameron: A news flash – customs officers at Dover have just caught some illegal immigrants trying to leave the UK? Mr Clegg: You mean Britain, don’t you? Little Ole’ Britain! Mr Cameron: And so, it’s goodnight from me… Mr Clegg: And it’s gonna be a reshuffle from him?! (END OF MEETING) BY DARRYL ASHTON
Posted on: Sun, 24 Nov 2013 12:01:55 +0000
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