The Rank Structure The General Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a locomotive, Is faster than a speeding bullet, Walks on water and gives policy to god. The Colonel Leaps short buildings with a single bound, Is more powerful than a switch engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water if the sea is calm and talks to god. The Lieutenant Colonel Leaps short buildings with a running start and a good wind, Is almost as powerful as a switch engine, Is faster than a speeding BB, Walks on water in an indoor pool, Talks to god, if a special request is approved. The Major Barely clears a Quonset hut, Loses tug of war with locomotive, Can fire a speeding bullet, Can swim well, And is occasionally addressed by god. The Captain Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings, Gets run over by locomotives, Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, Can doggie paddle, And talks to animals. The Lieutenant Runs into buildings, Recognizes locomotives (2 out of 3 times), Is not issued ammo, Can stay afloat if properly instructed, And talks to water. The Second Lieutenant Falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, Says “Look at Choo-Choo”, Eats all ammunition given to him, Dribbles water while drinking from sippy cups, Wets himself when god speaks. The Warrant Officer Lifts buildings and then walks under them, Kicks locomotives off the track, Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them up, Freezes water with a single glance, He is God.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Jun 2013 23:52:44 +0000
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