The abnormal woman: My thoughts on Peter MacKay I have never thought of myself as a feminist, but the older I get, the more frustrated I have become with the comments, jabs and criticism about the way I live my life. It was extremely hard to move up in the world, I had to fight off the demands to be the newspaper and coffee fetcher, note taker in a skirt, nursemaid to the pathetic....jobs no male would ever have to be burdened with. Sometimes I regarded being born a female as a curse, its a label thats associated with constantly overlooked. Its so hard to get a little equal respect, a little eye-to-eye contact instead of breast- to- eye- contact. In every federal election I have voted conservative, but my views now veer to a political party that recognizes my true place in society. Peter MacKay has now stepped in it twice in the last few weeks. Firstly, he has stated that women arent applying to sit on the bench because they have a special bond with their children, now, office emails have surfaced, dispatched by MacKay on Mothers and Fathers day, that appoint women as the diaper changers, and child chauffeurs, whose top concern is preparing the family meal; The Fathers day note, has a far more awe-inspiring message as it touts Dads as dedicated fathers who are shaping the minds and futures of the next generation of leaders. ie) Dads form world leaders...Moms cut the crust off the grilled cheese. Peter McKay, I feel I must step forward and make a confession..Im a 35 year old married woman. The only thing I care about it my job.. period. There is no other focus. I dont get up in the morning at 2 AM as I ready for work and fret over what elaborate meal I will make my hubby when i get home from work. The concept of child-rearing is completely foreign to me...Its like asking The Hulk to take up ballet. If women are born with a predisposed gene for nurturing..i must be an abhorrent mutation. I confess I have never desired to cradle a baby. My prepubescent toy-chest was stock full of GI Joe, baseball equipment and superheros. I never had a baby doll toy that cried for its momma and crapped its pants. Who wanted that? Its not only Peter MacKays views that offend me, the rudeness, the outright chauvinism runs deep in my own blood. Family gatherings and parties are hellish events where I navigate a mine field of graceless and penetrating questions. Dont you want to have children? This career you have, isnt time you put it on the shelf? How can you truly ever understand what its like to be a woman if you dont experience childbirth? You parents and grandparents need a grand baby, dont you think youre being selfish? One day youll wish you had children and it will be too late, Youve been married for 5 years, when are you going to get pregnant? When Ive blurted out, were not doing the kid thing, Ive drawn the most horrified reactions. Like Im some grotesque beast and my skin is covered in scales. Jessie Lorraine aka the witch from the fairy-tale Hansel and Gretel. But its nothing like that; I just know how my mind works. I have to stay focused on my job at all times to succeed and I have an undying fear that if I take my hand off the trigger to have a child I will miss my shot at success. I know my attention will focus on feedings and changing diapers and not on every aspect of my job. I want my boss to call me whenever he/she needs me, weekends, late nights...there will never be a fear of waking the kids or interrupting little Johnnys soccer practice. When they call me..I will always be ready to work. I have thought about having children.....for a second. Serious boyfriends in the past have sat me down and instructed me on the life I could expect, the rules that apply to my role, how things in my life would change once i became the mother of their children. The conversations usually ended with me packing a bag and bolting towards a fire escape. Im the female version of Uncle Buck. I cant be the woman that makes lunches in the morning, drives the kids to school, attends the PTA meetings, or designs costumes for the school play. I skip breakfast, live in an old leather jacket, and eat whatever food I dial up on the phone. Today on my way into work at 3am..I grabbed a big Mac for a snack....sometimes its cold pizza... I also lack the female genome for mundane housework. In my family, when the women run to the kitchen to swab the dishes after a big meal, I hang with the dads and the uncles in the living-room talking about politics or business with a beer. The dishes can sit in the sink all night, until Im ready to do them and I could care less. I dont have a frilly apron and prance around the house with a feather duster, ensuring my tea towels are themed to the holiday du jour.....in fact I dont even know if I have a tea towel? Does a drying rack count? My grandmother was born in the Madmen era where marriage was her only option. Her father died when she was young and her mother was stuck with six kids to raise on her own. Marriage in those days was survival. She had to get married and take the burden off the family. Once married, she had three kids, was not allowed to work, and was totally powerless. I swear I never saw the poor woman sit down and have a hot meal. Grandpa ordered her around constantly, she was his slave..and he, well, he could do whatever he wanted. He would disappear, come and go as he pleased.... When I was small he told me how I was destined to be someones little housewife someday. I told myself would be a cold day in hell before I allowed that path to be my destiny. The women in my life are modern role models, my mother manages her own business, she works 14 hours a day, strives for perfection and doesnt take any bunk. My sister holds two University degrees, is unmarried, and has her own studio she built from the ground up and with her bare hands... my best friend from high school works for the government, is unmarried and just purchased her own house. My college roomie has 3 kids, and has a full time job in the medical field as an executive......this is a snapshot of the women in my innermost circle...its also a snapshot of how the dynamic has changed. Peter, i dont want to be that annoying woman that shakes her fist and shouts Lean in, I dont want to be that obnoxious feminist that changes the e in women to a y. So I wont. I just got home from work, Im going to order a pizza, but my feet up and have a tall glass of cold beer..... Im going to toast the fact that it is not 1950, and Im not slaving over a hot stove right now frying a steak, in a bullet bra and kitten heels.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Jun 2014 20:43:57 +0000
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