The duty of the MOH… The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, you should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support are also part of your honor attendant package. This is a big job and isn’t without its own expense, so if you have someone in your life that you believe would ask you to be the maid/matron of honor it would be a good idea to start stashing a bit of cash aside for the events to follow (that’s right I said events, with an S). You will notice **Budget Alert** next to some of the entries below, make sure you are watching for these and plan accordingly. Some ceremonies can be very traditional and the planning process and events leading up to the big day can take place over several months, other ceremonies can happen within a few weeks. Be prepared, as we all know a lot of the best laid plans can quickly go array and you are the main support of the bride, make transitions feel seamless. Like I said it’d gonna be a big job. Heres whats expected: Lead the bridesmaid troupe. Its the maid/matron of honors (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all pre-wedding parties. **Budget Alert** HELP shop for dresses (the brides and the bridesmaids). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes). Help with pre-wedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake. Spread the news about where the bridal couple is registered. Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns. Lend an ear. Whether its about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening. **Budget Alert** Host or cohost a bridal shower for the couple. Buddy up with the best man and the other attendants; this party is in honor of the wedding party – a “happy trails” celebration, the kick-off of the upcoming events. Have fun with it, get know each other – you’re all gonna be working together to get these two wed and off to an eternal life together after all. This is also the start of the gift giving. Attend all pre-wedding parties. Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this). **Budget Alert** Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids. You are responsible for any cost associated to the bachelorette for both you AND the bride – so if you’re planning a trip to Vegas make sure to budget accordingly, the other bridesmaids are on their own. On a more low-key affair, you will want to have the bridesmaids chip in and delegate tasks - there are favors and decorations to get, food to organize, venues to select from, transportation arrangements and entertainment. NONE of these expenses are those of the bride’s - this is all on you baby. See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary. Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets. Hold the ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it is on one of your own fingers, one where it can be easily removed, but no too loose- we definitely don’t want to be dropping that sucker. Arrange the brides train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception. Hold the brides bouquet while the couple exchanges vows. Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man. Stand next to the bride’s partner in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead). Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc. Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place. Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm. Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others. Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.) Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor. Keeps the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 11:27:57 +0000
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