The following day proved to be the most productive. It was also the scariest. My cancer was more serious and aggressive then I realized. On this day I cried. My sister had sent out an email to Dana Faber over the weekend and we were pounding on their phone door at 9am. I was looking into and was on the phone with Sloan Kettering, going down the list of my NYC friends to see who could have me. My nearest and dearest had their doors open for me. Im so blessed and lucky in the friend department. I also needed a place to stay for my Dana Farbar visit and for recovery. That was also was covered by family and friends. It was truly amazing how many people opened their hearts and homes to me. I will never forget that. John Hopkins was 3 hours from my sister. My husband really wanted me in her care and of course I preferred that too. Who wouldnt want to be with their family after such an invasive surgery? My cousin had two young children and I didnt want to upset or intrude on their little lives in Boston. He was going to have me none the less and really he was more like my brother then my cousin. I was going to who ever could have me first, as advised by the surgeon in Syracuse. I want you on a table soon.. Brooke, go to whoever takes you first for your second. Things were already coming together. However me having 3 children made every facility seem so far away. By noon Dana Farber had called and had me down for that Friday. They were putting me with their chief of surgeons and my gut told me this was my best option for a second opinion. That afternoon I had spoken with an couple of OBGYN PAs, the severity of my cancer went up a notch and while I was pacing the house absorbing this information from these calls... I dialed my friend Dave. We had grown very close over the last few months having lost our mutual friend to melanoma stage 4. It was awful and we were all still very much mourning him. My cancer scare kicked in only a few months after we lost our beautiful Scottie. I know my circle of friends were all shocked when I was diagnosed, as was I. We had all been going through a very, very shitty year already. I began to explain to him what the PAs told me and I just lost it. I dont even know if he knows that was the first time I cried. My voice starting shaking and I felt the tears tingle out the glandular effect is NOT good.. It sounds like its not so cut and dry and Oh my God, Im so scared Dan came over and rubbed my back. While I was just a blubbering fool losing myself to the men in my life. One on the horn and one holding me up from behind ...It just sucked. We had hoped, and later found out, our insurance would pay for the second opinion and allow for the surgery to be done at Dana. My friends from Boston were very insistent I have my surgery done by the best of the best. Honestly, I completely stressed ever telling them No if it didnt feel right having it done there. They had very little tolerance for any bad choices so soon after losing our friend... My God they would kill me if I made a foolish decision. The stress factor took the front seat and the roller coaster was doing loops now. It was official, I was going Boston on Thursday. This was happening crazy fast and too slow all at once. I wanted the evil bastard out of my body yesterday.
Posted on: Wed, 27 Nov 2013 14:47:47 +0000
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