»»» The verge of Intoxication...««« (Obsession Compulsive Disorder...) I am forever over-whelmed by recurring sequence of emotions not explained by observed analysis of actions; Surge of uncomprehendable cycles triggered by constant images of you slide-previewed in the mind, cause of erection as it has me drifting in infatuation (I can almost touch you in my imagination). My thought morbidity comes to no hault, chained reminisence swifts the balance of my reasoning for you have become my minds source of dependence; Defenceless! I am exposed to the inevitability of what is sugar coated as attachment consisting of various fragments , each placed to occur in specific order under mental management. Voilated! Consumption of substance abused flows the body un-invited; Weakens the heart heavy intoxicated, Ive tried defences to keep it all congested; To somehow pause its mutation, have it all under observation ingesting sedation to have it meditated. Denial! Denying your existance has somehow become the only machanism to avoid what is real; You not in my heart, you not in mind, you do not exist! Oh how I wish your existance I did not feel! If only for a moment I could find it in me to keep these past memories I have of you sealed; Amputate my beating organ encouraging that revolting substance flow to allow my mind rest of thought and be healed... Sadly , your images are just there... They come up to remind me that you were once here; Once you and I attachement vows upon each other we did declair; Forever me and you our lives we would share; But then you turned unfair, tossed me out to the cruel world out there and seized to care... Im a broken tape record repeating in my mind lost tracks of passion; The constant glitches of pain and misery have somehow played a huge role on pretended memory comfort and forced smile expressions... I cannot forget you, I will not forgive you ! It matters not what I think, deep down within me I need find consolation; Stimulate anxiety fumigating this so-called desire depression, find mediation , instill intervention to help fight this sudden Obsession... I can fight it no longer! I am love intoxicated to the verge of obsession.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 10:33:14 +0000
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