This is a Message I received. I had no way to answer as it said Face book User so I am assuming that person no longer has a face book account, temporarily disabled their account or deleted me. For whatever reason, I am answering openly. Hey man, what’s up? Better yet, what’s up with you and church now? I just wondered because you really dropped off the grid and now you have popped up and seem like you have a holy fire burning in your butt. What happened to the guy that had a girl on each arm and a beer in each hand with an open wallet at the bar? What happened to the playboy singer that we all loved and knew back in the day that organized all the parties and trips to Ft. Worth? Is this the same Shawn Parks? Is this Mr. “I don’t remember how we got home but we did…Ready to go again?” Shawn Parks? I just wondered what could change a person like that and make you find god. I am not trying to implicate that you were a bad person; just a little wild and I never thought you would be promoting “church”. I actually only remember you on Friday and Saturday nights so maybe you were always this way but I never knew. Anyways, it’s good to see you have made a new life, your kids look great and you really seem happy now. Thanks for all the memories, you were always funny and a really great guy. That was the end of it. First off yes I opened and closed a lot of bars some time ago, I am not ashamed of this because it is part of my history. And secondly I don’t remember having girls on each arm unless they were fighting. Now that we have informed everybody that at one time in my life I was a pretty funny gigolo drunk I will get to the Gravy... I had four things change my life. My best friend and now wife Deana for picking me up from the mess I had made and dusting me off, showing me there was a better way and holding me to it. I know that it’s not easy supporting me but she does. (And she doesn’t beat me as often as before) Now, what opened my eyes and shocked me was Connor, Not my firstborn but my firstborn son. When he was born all I could think have been what example would I be for him? I was not a good one and I needed much change to happen and that started a snowball effect that is still happening. It made me go after and seek one that I had been ashamed to let see me the way I was, my actual firstborn. My daughter Sierra that I loved so much but did not want to hurt anymore. She is the third thing in this line and she was actually the 1st real love in my life but I didn’t pay attention at the time. I will forever and ever feel an empty pain that I can’t fill because of the time that was missed. I now take all the blame for what has happened but at one time I didn’t. I hated and Hated and Hated and I didn’t want her to see that. Oh, I missed out and I know it. The number four thing happened by accident and I will not say the circumstance of the day but it was a bad day; a very bad day and we turned it into some good. It was the summer of 2009. I owe part of that to my ex, Kathy for showing me forgiveness and letting me know that old friends will always be there. I know that seems like an odd order but that was the timeline that it happened. Now, THAT is where my thought process changed. I did not immediately jump to the Church, It took a few years. I listened and waited and did what I thought to be right and helped as many as I could along the way. I went to Church a few times here and there but I didn’t see what I needed to see or I thought I should see so I just went back home...didn’t care. I didn’t have the door opened yet. Because I didn’t have the other door closed all the way...yet. I found out that two doors could not open at the same time. You cannot open the door to Heaven if you are still standing on the porch of hell with a sidewalk that is paved with good intentions...it Just doesn’t work that way. I found that I had to surrender my old ways COMPLETELY to get the good that was waiting for me, so I did. I am not saying I am perfect and no longer want or occasionally stray from what is right, all I am saying is that now I try harder and ask for forgiveness daily (sometimes many times a day) For my mistakes. This is just me. I started my new journey in March of this year. I try my best to align myself with all that is good in life and do as good a job everywhere as I possibly can. Notice I said TRY, because it doesn’t always happen. I am human still. Now I do not PROMOTE Church. I am a Beacon (ray of light to help you find your destination) for the church and I am an Ambassador for the KINGDOM that I have discovered. I am filled with the happiness from within so sometimes it spills out and runs over. I am not sorry for that at all. I actually consider myself a doorway now for people that need assistance or guidance but are not sure where to look or are scared to ask. I have experience with both. I know who to align you with and have all the phone numbers to get help and if you just need to be in a quiet sanctuary by yourself and find God like I did, I can arrange that. I owe the Lord many years and a lot of time so I work overtime for him now. Now, Thanks to the messenger whoever it was. I do have great kids, I have four - Sierra, Ethan, Connor and Cooper and I love them all and at anytime would lay my life down for any of them. My first born Sierra and my last one Cooper are twins born about 15 years apart they complete the circle. If you need to message me again feel free to do so, if you want to come to Church feel free to do so. I am always listening...
Posted on: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 22:33:44 +0000
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