This is how software engineers die in India: Cognizant Method: hire a lion… ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. give him gobi 65 to eat again and again. hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit however give them the same amount gobi 65 to eat hire 200 more……. and more ……. TCS Method: hire a lion give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration IBM’s method: hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour … he dies of unemployment… Syntel Method:- Hire a Cat … assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite. Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion…. i-Flex Method: hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flex cube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion COSL Method: hire a lion . Polaris Method : hire ..sorry….purchase a lion.. change his timings…(instead of 9 AM …change it to 8:30 AM ) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion dies from fear of becoming CAT….. Capgemini Method: hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat… the lion dies before joining…. WIPRO METHOD: Hire a Lion, give him a mail Id. he will die recieving stupid mails all day……..!!!! HUAWEI Method: Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion… Give him work of 3 Lions Tell him to work late and even on weekends… No time for food and family, automatically die L & T METHOD: Hire a lion…. Take his CAMS assignment 2 times a year followed by Performance appraisals. Ask him for lots of My Leanings on line … Send him to Chennai/HYD/BLG;but yes don’t give him/her his/her home town. Ask him to stay on bench for a long time or Give him/her projects . No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls Only Attitude of HR girls. And say him Go Ahead be a Tiger. Lion dies in confusion if he is aTiger or lion…… THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST INFOSYS Method: HIRE A LION….. SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE KING OF THE JUNGLE! MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPERE EXAM LION TURNS INTO CAT MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HE LEARNED IN TRAINING MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!! SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE…
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 04:48:28 +0000
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