This isnt a message for sympathy this is just my life. Everyday I give 150 % to most things I do. I have single handedly bought a house a car and paid off a huge debit that wasnt mine that was 10 thousand dollars. I have loaned money to people and never got 1 cent back I have gave family money in the amount of 6 thousand dollars and never got it back. I have let 6 people move into my home and didnt ask for anything back. I have saved peoples shops from closing and asked for nothing back. I have worked all day and then went home and drawn all night just to keep trying to get better. I have failed 1 million times but I still get up and brush myself off and say huh thought that would be the one that killed me. But having said that I am feeling bad because I am tired of being the one helping everyone. I am sure superman would enjoy having help sometimes. I am no superman nor am I a great person. I just feel used and feel like revenge wouldnt give me the satisfaction I need. I am tired of paying for everything just to get another hidden bill. I am tired of being the go to guy who has everyones back. I am tired of not feeling appreciated and the only appreciation I do get comes in the form of taking out trash or ripping up paper towels. Things people would do with out my help. I spend 99% of my money and time on everyone else happiness. Now someone will say you need to make time for yourself. I give tattoos away practically, yet everyone wants a deal like I dont have bills. So for the first time I will let you know some of my bills. Rent $1500 house payment $1715. Electric at shop $250 Gas $175 Home electric just cost me $80 House gas $80 Cell phone cost $220 I pay $110 my internet at home $80 my shop $70 My trash at the shop is $380 a month. thats $4590 due on the 1st of every month! So anyone want to trade places feel free. I am a great father I give my son to much and I spoil him. I walked through freezing rain to make sure on Halloween he got his candy. I take my wife on 2 vacations a year. I buy all my sons clothes and all the house stuff is me too on Aug 15th 2014 I spent 20 thousand on stuff for the house! I have was in Ink Junkiez magazine 3 times this year and 1 time in Savage tattoos. 1 time in Tattoo You magazine. I donated 10 thousand to a cancer foundation. I won first place in Vegas and 1 time in Laughlin this last year 2014 was great to me as a artist but as a human its killed me. I have been offered by some companies to fly out and tattoo for there booths and I cant do it because I seem to always be needed else where. I have lost a lot of employees and some friends at the shop. I wish that wasnt true but it is. I cant seem to make everyone happy. I cant even make myself happy. My family couldnt be anymore distant. I am not happy with an apartment I am not happy with no goals. I look in the mirror and ask where did my life go daily. I cant believe 20 years ago I was living in my friends houses thinking man I am lucky I have them or I would have nothing. Now I am 37 and I am thinking man when will this end because I need a break. But please dont think I have EVER FORGOT the people who helped me out when I was young I love you all. I am forever in your debt. I just feel like daily I am sick of my life and I am missing something that needs fixed ASAP! K.O.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 19:05:24 +0000
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