This isnt present tense. But I wrote it when it was. And I think it matters. From a mother to her teenaged daughter, I want you to know why I walked away. I walked away because I was - I am - angry. Too angry. A long time ago, I vowed never to be a mother who allows anger to etch ugly, toxic words into her daughters hearts. For it is those words - the ones born of hurt, that last forever. Nothing that follows, no entreaties for forgiveness, no explanations of the emotions that drove them, no promises that they werent really meant, can ever, ever withdraw them from memory. To forgive is not to forget. So I walked away. And here I sit, trying so hard to find the place I need to teach you from, to guide you from, to lead you from - to love you from. Here I sit trying to find the place that does not hide nor paint a pretty face onto the feelings that your careless actions wrought, because that too would do you a grave disservice, but a place from which I am not driven by them. I walked away to find that place. A place where a biting retort could not find value above the need of a vulnerable, growing heart. A place where love assures safety and comfort and support - even as its hardened into the stuff of boundaries, rules and expectations. A place where you know how endlessly you are loved even while I tell you that you really, really pissed me off. A place that gives you the chance to learn that love, real love, sometimes has to walk away in order to make sure its voice isnt drowned among others fighting for volume. I walked away for the same reason that Im about to walk back. I love you. Mama
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 23:25:51 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015